I'm Already There
by Confetti Leaves
Summary: All the memories he'd sworn would last a lifetime were gone in the blink of an eye... Co-written with ArwenLalaith
1. Chapter 1

"Daddy, do you have to go?" Kylie asked, using her best puppy dog look.

Morgan got down on one knee and pulled his daughter close, kissing her nose. "You know I do, sweetheart, but I promise I'll be home before you even know I'm gone – you'll be having too much fun with Mommy to miss me."

"Promise?" the young girl said seriously.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," he pledged.

"Don't say that," Emily scolded gently, scooping their daughter into her arms. "You don't need to wish for any harm to befall you...since bad luck seems to follow you like a baby duck."

"Hey," he said, pouting playfully, "I haven't tackled anything bigger than a car in five years."

"I know, I know," she sighed, "Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I always am." He pulled her in for a hug, squishing Kylie between them. "I really have to go or I'll miss the jet."

"Bye, Daddy," Kylie said, leaning away from Emily to wrap her little arms around her father's neck, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, princess," he kissed her cheek, "Take good care of your mom for me." He set the girl on the ground and she raced over to the picture window where she would wave goodbye and watch him drive out of sight.

Emily then pulled him in for a kiss, a part of her still wishing he didn't have to leave. "I love you," she murmured against his lips.

"I love you," he echoed, "I'll miss you."

"Be safe," she repeated.

"Don't worry, I will," he promised again as he headed out the door, waving as he reached the driveway.

Emily was silent until his SUV turned the corner at the end of the block and became hidden from view. "Alright, Kylie," she said, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder, "Go get dressed and we'll go to the park." Something told her that if she were at home she'd just wait and worry...

...

Emily sat by her daughter's bed, watching the little girl sleep peacefully. If she were honest with herself, she wished she could have some of her daughter's peace. She had spent the entire day worrying about her husband's safety and went to bed with a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

She tried to convince herself that it was all part of her imagination, that nothing bad would happen to Morgan because he had promised her and Kylie that he would come home safely. But sleep seemed to have eluded her and she'd given up on falling asleep hours ago. Sitting by her daughter's bed, being in her presence made her feel a little better.

A small, child-like voice caught her attention. She looked down and found that her daughter was awake. "Why are you not sleeping, Mommy?" she asked blearily. "It's past bedtime."

"Mommy just wanted to see you," Emily replied tenderly, running her fingers through her daughter's dark locks. Emily smiled as she studied little Kylie's features. The little girl had grown so much since she was baby and the older she became, the more she looked like a miniature Emily, but with Morgan's ears and bright smile.

"Did you have a bad dream, Mommy?" Kylie asked, shifting on her bed to make space for her mother, "You can come sleep with me."

Just as she was about to assure her daughter that everything was okay, the phone rang. Maybe she was jaded – it could just be a wrong number or a prank call – but Emily knew a phone call at three-fifteen in the morning was never a good sign. She prayed with all her heart that it wasn't from anyone on the team.

"Hello?"

"_Emily_," the caller on the other end began gently, almost regretfully, "_It's JJ. It's about Morgan..._"

Emily's stomach twisted into knots and her breath caught in her chest when she heard JJ's voice. "Is Derek okay? What happened?"

"_He's been in an accident_," JJ informed, "_The doctors are with him now; the paramedics say there aren't any bone fractures or anything like that, but we haven't been able to speak with his doctor. Do you want to come down here?_"

"I'll be there in the morning."

"_I'll get Garcia to reserve tickets for you and Kylie._"

Emily ran a trembling hand through her hair and bit her lip to hold back her tears as she collapsed on the couch. "Mommy, was that Daddy?" Kylie climbed onto the couch with the worn out stuffed bunny Morgan had bought for her when she was born. That bunny had been with her ever since and the little girl never went anywhere without it.

She gathered the little girl into her arms, hoping to find some comfort. "Mommy, are you okay?"

"I'm okay. Honey, can you get changed?" Emily asked gently. "We're gonna see Daddy now..."

The little girl's eyes lit up and she grinned brightly. "Yay!" she cheered, "We're going to see Daddy, bunny! I can change on my own, Mommy. Daddy says I'm a big girl now, I can change on my own."

Emily sighed and buried her face in her hands when Kylie skipped back to her room happily and shut the door. She couldn't stop thinking about her husband. She didn't know what she would do if something happened to him, but she knew she didn't have time to break down. She had to get to the airport and get on a plane so she could be with her husband.


	2. Chapter 2

Emily sighed as she glanced at her sleeping husband and then her watch for what seemed like the thousandth time. She held his hand tightly, grateful that his injuries were nothing too serious and he would be able to go home as soon as he woke up, but she wanted him to wake up nonetheless. She wanted to see his eyes and feel his strong arms around her.

Finally, after hours of worrying and not sleeping, her body was completely worn out. She laid her head beside his arm and closed her eyes, drifting in and out of consciousness, but immediately sat up when she felt a gentle squeeze on her hand. She didn't blink when she watched his eyes open slowly, adjusting to the light.

"Emily?"

She flung her arms around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Thank God you're awake. I was so scared," she whispered tearfully. "Are you okay?"

Morgan slowly sat up with Emily's help, looking completely clueless. "Thanks," he smiled when she adjusted his pillow. "I'm a little sore, my head hurts like a bitch... What happened?" He looked around, taking in his surroundings. "Am I in a hospital?"

"What do you mean 'what happened'?" she asked, frowning.

"It's...kinda hazy," he said, rubbing his temples. "I don't really remember."

Her heart felt like it had leaped into her throat – or maybe it was her stomach; either way, she felt nauseous with worry. "What _do_ you remember?"

He frowned contemplatively as if reaching the memories required great effort. "Umm...we were on a case," he said, but it wasn't a confident answer, more an educated guess based on the fact that they were always on a case.

"Do you remember the accident?" she asked, voice trembling with the effort of holding back tears.

"What accident?"

"Oh, Derek..." she sighed, a tear escaping to trickle down her cheek.

"Hey, don't cry..." he whispered.

"I'm sorry." She wiped away her tears, taking a moment to compose herself. "What else do you remember?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Well, I don't remember you got married," he smiled, his gaze resting on her simple diamond ring for a moment. "Nice ring. Who's the lucky guy?"

Her breath hitched. "You don't remember who I married?" she asked, her voice shaky and soft. "You don't remember the wedding?"

He shook his head as her face fell into an absolutely crestfallen look. "I'm sorry," he murmured, though he had no idea what he was apologizing for.

She took a shaky breath, struggling not to break down completely. "I..." she tried to speak, but the effort of holding back her tears was almost overwhelming, the lump in her throat choking out her words and making it hard to breathe.

"Daddy!"

The door burst open so fast, Emily couldn't stop the little girl from running into the room and climbing onto Morgan's bed and onto his lap. She held her breath as she watched the rest of the exchange.

If he didn't remember their relationship, he wouldn't remember their daughter. She only hoped that the little girl wouldn't know that her father didn't remember her.

"I missed you, Daddy," Kylie whispered, wrapping him in the biggest hug her tiny arms could manage.

Emily watched as he hesitantly wrapped his arms loosely around the little girl as if he was afraid that he would crush her if he hugged her too tightly. Kylie pulled back from the hug and studied her father, sensing that there seemed to be something wrong.

She cocked her head to the side, face screwed up with concentration. "What's wrong, Daddy?" she asked at length.

"I... You..." he stammered, trying to decide on the right words to explain to the little girl that he didn't remember her name, let alone fathering her.

Kylie tucked her stuffed rabbit into bed next to him. "Don't worry, Daddy, bunny will make you all better because he always makes me feel better when I don't feel good."

The tender gesture made tears well up in Emily's eyes again. "That's very generous of you, sweetheart," she said softly, "But let's let Daddy rest now, okay?" She plucked the girl from the bed and set her on the ground. "Why don't you go find Aunty Penny."

She paused at the doorway to once more glance at her father, almost worriedly, before flashing a faint smile and waving, just as she'd done not even twenty-four hours earlier as he'd walked out the door.

For a few moments, Morgan stared blankly at Emily as, she assumed, his injured brain tried to put the pieces together.

"She's my daughter..." She followed his gaze which once again rested on her wedding ring. "Is she..." he trailed off, almost afraid to continue. "Is she _our_ daughter?"

"Yes."

"We're married and we have a daughter... Why can't I remember any of that?" he asked, clearly distressed.

"Derek..."

"Were we in love?"

Her lip quivered. "Very much."

"I don't remember that," he whispered sadly. "I don't... I don't even remember I have a daughter. I don't know her name or how old is she or..." he trailed off, holding up the stuffed bunny Kylie left for him, "...who gave this to her. Why is this her favourite?"

Emily breathed heavily, almost struggling for air as she listened. She couldn't stop the tears falling from her eyes. She closed her eyes, taking several long moments to compose herself. "Her name's Kylie Emily Morgan. You picked her middle name," she informed slowly, watching his reaction as she filled him in. "She's four. That bunny is her favourite; you bought it for her when she was born and she never went anywhere without it."

Morgan was silent again, trying to put the pieces together.


	3. Chapter 3

"Mrs. Morgan, I'm afraid your husband is suffering from severe post-traumatic retrograde amnesia. When he hit his head in the accident, there was massive trauma to his temporal lobes which control episodic memory," the doctor said gently.

She couldn't grasp hold of any of the words, but it didn't really matter – she already knew the outlook was so very bleak. She was overwraught with nervous energy, longing to pace, but settled for wringing her hands, trying to appear more composed than she felt inside.

"So, what's the outlook?" she asked slowly, "What are the chances he'll get better?"

"It's hard to say," he said, almost apologetically, "Traumatic amnesia tends to be transient, but it depends on the severity of the injury. There's a chance it could be permanent."

"But you said it wasn't serious," she said, getting flustered, "You said there was no lasting damage." She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to ward of the stress headache she could already feel bunching at the base of her skull. She let out a slow, calming breath. "What kind of timeline are we looking at here? How long will it take for him to recover?"

"It could be a week, a month, years – possibly never," he said, gently, "There's no telling how long the damage might last. You can show him photos, do things you used to do together, it might jolt his memory. He might remember bits and pieces of the past before he remembers everything...but don't get your hopes up. Most importantly, don't stress him out, it won't do him any good."

"Okay..." Emily bit her lip, unconsciously resting her hand on her stomach. "Is there anything else I can do?"

"Just be patient."

...

Leading Morgan up the walkway to the front door, a combination of fear and hope pounded inside her chest. A part of her was desperately praying that the home where they'd built a life together would be enough to trigger his memory. The other part of her was terrified that he was beyond reach, that the man she'd married was gone and she was just bringing a stranger into the empty shell of a life that once was.

"We live here?" he asked slowly, surveying the outside of the house – it was a far cry from the bachelor pad he remembered. She nodded and he could see that even that lack of recall was killing her. "It seems...familiar," he said contemplatively, watching Kylie stretch to reach the doorknob.

She tried not to get her hopes up, but she couldn't help it... "You remember?" she whispered.

"Not really," he whispered sadly, "I just... It feels like home."

Emily smiled; that was good enough for now, it was more than she had dared to hope for. Leading him into the living room, she watched as he looked around, studying the house. He smiled when he saw the photos hanging on the wall, evidence that they'd once been a beautiful and loving family...but that thought sent a hint of sadness seeping into his heart when he couldn't remember a single one of those moments of his life.

He rested his hand on the breakfast bar and nodded as he looked up at Emily. "This is familiar," he smiled, "I made this, right?"

"Yes," she smiled faintly, "You made that."

He traced his fingers along the grain of the wood. "It's like...I'm watching a film of someone else's life and everyone keeps telling me it's mine and I try so hard to put it together, but I'm missing the piece that makes it all fit."

"I know," she said softly, choking up again. She ran a hand over his back soothingly. "Why don't you get some rest – the doctor said it will help. I'll wake you up for dinner."

He moved in the direction he assumed lead towards the bedroom, but stopped in his tracks at the bottom of the staircase.

"Something wrong?" Emily asked, frowning.

"I don't remember where my – our – bedroom is..."

He watched as Emily bit her lip, clearly upset that he had no recollection of their lives together, but after a moment, she smiled reassuringly. An overwhelming sense of guilt washed over him – he shouldn't be forgetting the two people who were supposed to be the most important things in his life. Emily shouldn't have to go through this all by herself.

She turned to the little girl who had already fallen asleep on the couch and was more than thankful that she hadn't heard any of that. She squeezed his hand gently. "I'll put Kylie to bed and I'll take you to our room."

He followed her to the couch and stopped her when she bent down to scoop the little girl up into her arms. "Can I?" he asked, watching his daughter sleep. "Can I carry her?"

"Of course," she smiled, "She's yours too."

He hoped he would remember something when the little girl was wrapped tightly in his arms, head lolling against his shoulder as she slept...but he didn't feel anything he was supposed to be feeling, he just felt out of place and empty.


	4. Chapter 4

Emily sighed as she stood before the mirror in their walk-in closet. She placed a hand on her slightly swollen belly and tears slowly welled up in her eyes. They had been waiting for another baby since Kylie was two, but it had never happened and they'd both decided that they would be happy to just be a family of three. But that had all changed when Morgan walked out of the door almost a week ago...

"I'm sorry," she murmured, gently stroking her belly, "I'm sorry I can't tell Daddy about you yet. I know it's not fair to you, but Daddy isn't ready now... I'm really sorry."

She was almost eleven weeks pregnant and she wasn't really showing yet. If things went similar to when she was pregnant with Kylie, she figured she would have another month or so before she wouldn't be able to hide it anymore.

Biting her lip, she wished with all her heart that she didn't have to wait until then...

She wasn't sure she could have gotten through it the first time without him – and she had no idea how she was going to last a few months or even weeks without his support.

"It's just gonna be you and me for now, little one," she said softly, "But at least we have each other..." That didn't really make her feel any better, though.

She was startled by a little hand tugging at her sleeve. "Mommy?"

Emily gently ran a hand over her daughter's hair, bringing her closer. "Yes, baby?"

"Mommy, why were you talking to your tummy?" she asked with the innocence only a child could manage.

She opened her mouth, about to tell her it was nothing – but Kylie gave her a look that seemed to beg for the truth. And considering that she had to keep so much of what was going on right now a secret from the girl, she decided to trust her with this. Mostly, though, a part of her just didn't want to go through it alone.

"Remember how we talked about maybe having a little brother or sister?" Kylie's eyes lit up as she nodded. Emily took her hand and placed her palm flat against the slight swell of her belly. "In a few months, we'll have a new baby in the family."

The little girl gave a small squeal of excitement and hugged her mother. "I hope it's a girl," she whispered, smiling conspiratorially.

"But you have to promise me something," Emily warned, "You can't tell Daddy, okay?"

"Why not?" she frowned, "Wouldn't Daddy be happy to know that I'm gonna be a big sister?"

"Of course Daddy would be happy," Emily assured, scooping the little girl into her arms. She wished more than anything to tell Morgan about her pregnancy, their new baby on the way, but there was no way he could handle that information now. "But Mommy wants to give Daddy a surprise. Surprises are nice, right?"

Kylie smiled brightly and nodded, "I like surprises. I promise I won't tell Daddy," she said seriously, holding up her pinky for a pinky promise.

"That's my girl," Emily smiled, kissing her daughter's cheek. At least, she had her little ones to keep her strong right now...

...

"Careful, Kylie," he reminded, "Don't spill." He reached out a hand to steady her hold on the measuring cup. He didn't feel right calling her by name, like there was some kind of pet name he had for her, but he couldn't for the life of him remember what it was.

"I won't spill, Daddy," she said seriously, "I'm being careful – I'm a big girl."

"I know." It still felt strange to be called Daddy. "But the more time we have to spend cleaning, the longer we have to wait to eat the brownies."

Her eyes widened in alarm. "Okay, you can help." He couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up.

As they lightly dusted the sugar on the brownies, Morgan studied the little girl's features and realized how much she looked like Emily. From her long dark hair, to her mannerisms – it all screamed Emily, but when she gave him a toothy grin as she dusted more sugar on the brownies, he realized that she had his smile. For some reason, it made his heart melt.

"You really look like Mommy," he whispered. It still felt weird calling Emily 'Mommy', but he was getting used to it and, to be honest, he liked it.

"Really?" Kylie smiled. "Mommy's really pretty."

"She really is," he smiled. He wondered how he got so lucky as to be married to Emily. He'd always known he liked her, but he never would have thought there would be a day where they would be together, much less have a family together.

A small pair of hands tugged his shirt and snapped him out of his reverie. "Can we have our brownies now, Daddy?" she pouted.

He handed her a piece of their hard work and laughed as her big bite got frosting on her nose and around her mouth. "You're a messy little eater, aren't you?"

She giggled, a sweet little sound that tugged at some part of his brain he couldn't quite reach. Something told him this wasn't the first time his daughter had helped him in the kitchen. He couldn't have said when or what they'd baked, but he was sure that it was important.

Taking in the sight of her flour covered pigtails to her clothes stained with batter, it brought him back – or close to – a time where it had all happened before. Looking into the little girl's eyes, sparkling with all the love and admiration there was in the world for him, he knew they were really close before he lost it all. He knew she must have been really important to him and he must have really loved her for him to remember such insignificant details about her.

"I love you, Kylie," he whispered, the words leaving his mouth before he even had a chance to think.

She gave him the biggest hug she could manage and smiled, "I love you too, Daddy." And this time, it felt right.


	5. Chapter 5

She'd lost track of the number of times she'd broken down to tears in the last few days...

She didn't remember being quite this emotional during her last pregnancy. And as much as she wanted to blame the hormones – which were undoubtedly part of it – she knew it had more to do with the worry and the stress.

She was trying very hard to maintain her facade of confidence and assuredness because she knew she was the one her family was turning to for strength, but compartmentalizing wasn't as easy as it used to be and she wasn't sure she was strong enough to provide the support they needed.

She bit her lip to prevent herself from crying out loud, she couldn't let Morgan or Kylie catch her breaking down. Morgan would blame himself for making her cry, he didn't need to feel worse than he already did. Kylie didn't need to know what was going on with her father, she shouldn't have to know that her own father had forgotten about her.

If she could at all prevent it, Emily would do everything in her power to keep her daughter from knowing the truth.

She was so physically and emotionally worn out that she barely had the energy to stand; falling into bed, she clutched their wedding picture tightly, desperately trying to lose herself in the far off time when there had been nothing but hope.

She sniffled softly, lightly brushing away a stray tear as it broke upon the glass. The faint sound carried through the slight gap in the doorway, to the ears of the little girl on the other side.

Kylie's lip quivered as she watched her mother cry her heart out. Upset and afraid, she quickly turned away, running to find her father. "Daddy?" she called out softly, sniffling, while she searched for her father, eventually finding him in the study.

Morgan quickly dropped his book and scooped the little girl into his arms. "What happened, honey?" he asked gently, rubbing soothing circles on her tiny back.

"I... I think I did something bad..." she sobbed, "I made Mommy cry..."

Somehow, he found it hard to believe that the child, who somehow both felt so awkward and so normal in his embrace, could do anything to make Emily cry...and not just because Emily was easily one of the toughest people he knew.

"What makes you think that?"

"'Cause she's sad and crying and she doesn't want us to see..."

"I'm sure you did nothing wrong," he assured, "Sometimes, Mommys just have to cry." He didn't know what else to say to the girl – he couldn't recall ever having seen Emily cry before he'd woken up with a five year hole in his memory, though he didn't have to guess what was upsetting her now.

"Really?" she whimpered.

He felt something tug at his heart when he watched tears streak down his daughter's chubby cheeks. "Would it make you feel better if I talk to Mommy?" he asked gently as he wiped away her tears.

"Yes," she nodded solemnly.

After settling Kylie in her room and making sure she would be alright alone, Morgan went on to find his wife. It still felt strange to call Emily his wife, it felt strange to share a bed with her and wake up beside her. He knew there must have been a time when he loved to wake up with her and maybe even share a sweet good morning kiss, but he couldn't remember any of that.

"Emily?" he called out, knocking on the door.

He peered through the crack and sighed as he watched her quickly wipe her tears away, desperately trying to maintain the strong image she felt they needed. She feigned a smile when he entered their room. "Hey, do you need something?" she asked gently.

He didn't need profiling skills to tell that she had been crying for a long time. Her eyes red and puffy, tear stains evident on her cheeks. "You've been crying," he whispered, his voice heavy with guilt.

She shook her head. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

He gave her a pointed look. He struggled for the right words; it was hard to be comforting when he didn't remember how. "Please don't lie to me," he said slowly. "I might be...damaged, but I'm still the same person. I might not remember being married, but I remember being friends... Let me help."

Though good intentioned, those didn't seem to be the right words to say. She seemed to fight an internal battle not to start crying again. "I'm fine, really. Please," she said, almost begging him to let it go. "What do you need?"

Morgan sighed, he understood it was hard for her to hear that the man she married only remembered them being friends. "Kylie saw you crying..." he said, "She thinks she did something wrong and upset you."

"Oh my God." She ran a hand through her hair nervously, tears threatening to fall again. "I should have been more careful," she murmured. Morgan knew she would blame herself for upsetting their precious daughter before her protective instinct set in. "Where is she? I need to talk to her."

"She's in her room. I told her it's not her fault, but I don't think she believed me..."

She almost wanted to lash out and ask how she was supposed to believe someone who was just going through the motions of being a father. But she knew that wouldn't help anything and it wouldn't make her feel better. "You tried..." she said lamely.

She was halfway out the door when he stopped her. "Emily, wait. Did I...do something wrong?" This was so far from anything he'd ever known – or, at least, anything he could recall knowing – that he felt like he needed a roadmap just to get through the day.

She looked at him with a combination of love and pain – not that he needed to see it to know she was hurting. "It's nothing you did," she assured. It's just...this wasn't supposed to happen."

Emily left him standing alone in the middle of their room, feeling guilty and helpless. He wanted to help, he wanted to remember what he had lost, he wanted to be the man Kylie and Emily knew and loved, but he just couldn't. After weeks, he could only pick up pieces of what he assumed were the best five years of his life, but that just wasn't enough.

He picked up the wedding photo she had left on the bed and even though he knew that the man in that photo was him, he couldn't help but feel like he was looking at someone else. That man in the photo was happy and in love with a wonderful woman, but that man seemed to have gone missing since the accident.

All he could do now was wish that he could find that man and return him to Emily and Kylie. That was the only way to would fix everything...


	6. Chapter 6

Morgan's eyes fluttered open and closed, drifting in and out of sleep. It took him several minutes before he was completely awake and when he finally opened his eyes, he saw the most beautiful sight there was in world. The soft morning light illuminated her face, giving it a soft, almost angelic glow. Her breathing was slow and quiet and she looked absolutely gorgeous and completely at peace.

Carefully, he reached out and gently brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face. He couldn't tell if it was his imagination or if he really felt it, but watching her sleep made him feel at home. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had felt like that.

He didn't know what possessed him to do it, but he didn't give it too much thought before leaning over and gently kissing her forehead. He could have sworn that the corners of her lips turned upwards slightly and unconsciously, a smile appeared on his face as well.

He hadn't felt it at first, it had just seemed awkward and unnatural sharing a bed with a woman he only knew as a colleague and friend. But now, it just felt right, laying there beside her, watching her sleep – he felt like he belonged. It was almost as if things were falling into place.

"Good morning," she murmured, voice soft with sleep, breaking him from his peaceful reverie. There was one perfect moment in which everything seemed right, like things had never fallen apart, before reality set in. "What are you doing?"

"I do this a lot, don't I?" he asked, whispering quietly as if afraid that speaking any louder would shatter the calm of the moment.

"What?"

"Watching you sleep," he elaborated, "I used to do that all the time, right?"

"Yes." A faint smile tugged at her lips, but it didn't quite reach her eyes which seemed permanently sad as of late.

"It feels right," he smiled, "I don't remember a lot of things, but this feels right. This feels like what I should be doing."

Her smile grew a little brighter. "I'm glad," she murmured, reaching out to lightly brush her fingers over his cheek. "I miss mornings like this..."

"I know," he lamented, "I'm sorry. I'm trying... The pieces are there, but I can't make them fit."

"It will come together," she promised, "Just give it time." He couldn't be sure if she actually believed that or if that was just what she told herself because she wanted so badly for it to be true.

He nodded, wanting to believe it too. "You know, since the accident, I've been feeling lost and out of place," he whispered after a moment. "But it's different when I'm with you. I still can't remember a lot of things, but when I'm with you it feels right. I feel like this is where I belong, here with you. I think I know that I really love you, I can feel it right here," he said, taking her hand and placing it on his chest over his heart. "It's so strong... All our memories, they're in there somewhere, I just need time to find it... Can you wait?"

Emily smiled through her tears; this had been more than she had ever expected. "Just don't take too long. There's so much I want you to remember." Unconsciously, she rested a hand on her slightly swollen belly.

"Me too," he murmured.

...

As of late, she'd found something of a sanctuary in photo albums, a place where the memories lived on even when the people didn't. It wasn't the same, not even close, but it was something...sometimes the only thing she had that brought back that feeling that everything was right with the world.

It was like trying to find something she'd lost, something of the utmost importance...but it was like she was searching for a ghost, something she wasn't sure existed anymore.

She didn't bother to wipe the tears from the pages, they fell faster than she could clear them. Her vision blurred at the edges from withheld tears, distorting the images on the pages. She was sick of crying; all she wanted was one day where it didn't feel as if her world was coming apart at the seams.

Morgan bit his lip as he watched her from the top of the stairs, upset that there was nothing he could do to make her feel better. He had seen her cry more than he ever should in his life and he felt like it was his fault that he had brought her so much pain.

If he had been a little more careful, this would never have happened...

Hesitantly, he closed the distance between them to put his arm around her, drawing her close as he settled on the couch. He took a deep breath, breathing her in as she rested her head on his shoulder. He had a feeling they had done this a lot before he lost his memory, that they would cuddle together on the couch and not say word, just enjoying each other's presence.

"Please, don't cry," he urged, almost pleading – it hurt him to be doing this to her.

She sniffled and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "It just...it hurts." She looked at him sadly. "It's not your fault, but..." she shook her head, "It's just hard to make sense of it all."

He didn't really know how to respond, not that anything he could say would help, would change anything – so he said the only thing that seemed to fit. "Could you... Could you tell me the stories behind these pictures?" he asked hesitantly, as he wiped the tears from the open page as if clearing the image would somehow clear his mind. It felt so wrong to have to ask her to have to tell him his past – almost as wrong as it felt to have to tell him, he imagined.

"What do you want to know?"

"What were we doing?" He pointed to the photo where they were dressed to the nines. Emily was in a little black dress that showed off her curves while he wore a simple suit that fitted him perfectly. "You look really nice," he smiled.

"Our rehearsal dinner," she whispered, "Garcia took that."

His gaze drifted out of focus as he tried to connect to that night, to reach through the haze. She studied him carefully, biting her lip thoughtfully, watching as he screwed up his face in concentration, straining to remember. She knew he was doing this for her – and for Kylie – but that didn't make it any easier, not really.

"Our mothers got along like they'd been friends for years," she described, "They both cried during the speeches. Rossi got a little drunk and made a less than appropriate speech..." she frowned at the memory, "Aside from that, it was a lovely evening." She squeezed his hand gently, running her thumb over his wedding band.

"What did he say?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know..."

"No, I do," he said, "Tell me... I want to know everything about us."

She sighed and braced herself for the embarrassment. "He said, and I quote, _'Maybe now we'd stop using the supply closet like our bedroom or, at least, keep our volume to a minimum.'_ I think my mother nearly choked on her dinner..."

He chuckled quietly, "That must have been embarrassing."

"You took it all in stride..." she said, "Just like everything else. Sometimes, I think I probably would have had a nervous breakdown while planning the wedding if it weren't for you."

"I'm sure that's not true," he insisted, "You're the picture of calm, collected, and level-headed. You don't get stressed, you get...determined."

She pursed her lips, trying to hide her smile because him not remembering the several almost-panic attacks she'd had wasn't really a smile-worthy thing, but she couldn't help the small grin that broke out. "Still a sweet-talker..."

"It's a gift," he shrugged.

And the moment broke. "_Some_ things never change..."


	7. Chapter 7

They spent the next hour flipping through the photo albums; for Emily it was like taking a nice long walk down memory lane, but for Morgan, it was like watching a movie of someone else's life. He seemed to have vague connections to some of the stories behind the photos, but they were quickly lost. But that faint familiarity when he saw the photos was comforting, it was like a quiet reminder that they belonged to him.

Then something caught his eye...

Like nearly every other photo, they were in an embrace with huge smiles on their faces, clearly very much in love, but there was something different about that one. There was something telling him that it was an important moment in their lives, but it was just out of reach no matter how hard he tried to grasp it.

"Derek?" Emily looked at him, concerned, noticing that he had been silent for a long time.

"This one," he pointed to the photo, "When was it taken?"

"That was our first Christmas after we got married..." she said, "We were exchanging presents."

He thought hard for another moment, then shook his head. "Tell me more," he urged. "It's close, I know it is...but I can't get past the haze blocking it."

A small enthused smile broke upon her lips. She tried not to get her hopes up, he half-remembered a lot of things and none of them were the difference between the Derek Morgan she was married to and the Derek Morgan she'd first met – but she'd never really been able to control her emotions where he was concerned.

"It was the day I told you I was pregnant with Kylie. You immediately called your mother and told her you'd forgotten part of her gift, but she had to wait nine months to get it... I think people two states away heard her squeal of happiness."

"I knew it was important," he whispered, smiling as he stared intently at the photo. "What else did I do?"

"You pretty much called everyone you knew and told them that you were going to be a daddy," she smiled as the events of that day ran through her mind. "Then you took me upstairs to the nursery and told me everything you wanted to do, how you wanted to decorate."

"That was the best present anyone could have ever given me," he whispered so softly that Emily almost didn't catch it.

"What was that?"

"I told you that was the best present anyone could ever give me, right?"

Tears welled up in her eyes again, but tears of a different kind. "You remember?" she breathed, hardly daring to believe it.

He nodded. "Some of it...it's all clearer than it was." He looked at her like a puppy eager for praise. "This is good, right?"

"It's wonderful," she assured, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I told you it would come back, it'll just take some time." He murmured his agreement, even if she sounded a little surprised...it was hard to keep your faith in something that keeps letting you down; he knew that better than anyone.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck, sniffling quietly, though resulting from very different emotions this time. He pulled away from her slightly and gently brushed her tears away with his thumb. "Don't cry," he whispered, "This is a good thing."

"I know, I'm sorry," she half-laughed, half-sobbed, "I just... These are happy tears... Stupid hormones." She stopped dead, eyes widening at what she'd said; thankfully, though, he didn't seem to have caught on.

Morgan chuckled quietly. "Silly girl. It's okay. I know this is harder on you than it is on me and I'm sorry. I promise you, I'll remember. It's like a jigsaw puzzle, it's all in a mess right now, but it's all there and I'll get it..." Unconsciously, his hands cupped her cheeks and he rested his forehead against hers and strangely, there was nothing awkward about it. "Trust me."

This was a place they'd found themselves many times before, even if he didn't know it. She did, though and, before she even realized what was happening, she had closed the short distance between them to press their lips together.

It surprised them both, once what was happening dawned on them and she felt him tense a little, though he made no attempt to stop it. It felt simultaneously thrilling and scary as hell – just like the very first time he'd kissed her. Which, essentially, it was – a second chance at the first kiss.

While she was the one who started the kiss, he was the one who took control of the situation. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her impossibly close to him as he deepened the kiss. This was one of the rare and perfect moments they could lose themselves in and momentarily forget about all that had happened in the past couple of weeks.

This was also one of the precious moments since the accident where Morgan felt right. Kissing Emily and holding her in his arms was what he was meant to do and, if he didn't know he loved her before, he certainly knew it now.

After what seemed an eternity later, they pulled away from each other, but his hands stayed resting intimately on her hips. "I'm sorry," she murmured breathlessly, "I shouldn't have done that...but you can't expect me to do nothing after saying that."

"Hey," he whispered, leaning closer to her, "I'm not complaining. It was a good kiss. Were all our kisses this amazing?"

She laughed lightly, the sound warming his heart after having heard so many sobs. "I seem to remember they were."

He grinned. "Well, in that case, I think it's helping clear my mind... Maybe we should refresh my memory a little more."

She rolled her eyes. "Some things never change," she repeated, though she said it fondly. That was the Derek Morgan she remembered – or very close to him.


	8. Chapter 8

For days, Kylie had been insisting that he read her a bedtime story, but he'd been hesitant, interacting with the little girl still felt so foreign. But he'd eventually given in, the part of him that had never been able to say no to his daughter unable to deny her any longer.

So, just as he'd seen Emily do, he sat in the rocking chair by the window and pulled Kylie into his lap as she clutched tightly to the books she'd chosen from her nearly overflowing shelf.

"Love You Forever," she said, selecting one of the books and sounding the title out slowly. "Read this one, Daddy."

"Good choice," he said, smiling and gently kissing the top of her head. He didn't even make it through the first sentence when Kylie interrupted. "A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth..."

"She has a new baby," the little girl grinned, pointing at the illustration. "He's so little."

"That's right," he smiled, trying to remember a time when Kylie was still a baby in his arms. "You were little too, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you were so small," he told her, "Mommy had to carry you around all the time."

"Is our new baby gonna be little too?"

"All babies are..." he began, then halted. For a moment he was silent, struck with a combination of confusion and surprise. "What?" he asked, all thoughts of the book forgotten.

Her eyes widened and instantly pooled with tears. "I'm sorry, Daddy, I'm sorry! Mommy said not to tell 'cause it was s'posta be a surprise, but I wrecked it!"

"It's okay, don't cry..." he murmured, pulling his daughter into a reassuring hug. "It's okay."

"No, it's not!" she sobbed, "I pinky promised Mommy I wouldn't tell you. It's a surprise! Mommy's gonna be mad at me. She won't like me anymore."

"That's not true," he promised, "She's gonna love you forever – just like the mommy in the book."

"Promise?" she asked, lip still quivering.

"I promise," he repeated.

"Are you mad, Daddy?" she whispered.

"I'm not mad," he said, though truthfully, he wasn't entirely sure how he felt.

"Will _you _love me forever?"

"I'll love you forever and a day."

...

After tucking Kylie into bed, Morgan sought out Emily, needing to hear it from her, to hear the truth. He found her lying propped up in bed, reading, though she hid the book in her nightstand the minute she noticed his presence. But the pink and blue gingham cover told him everything he needed to know.

"Kylie accidentally told me something...interesting," he said slowly, broaching the subject in a roundabout manner.

"Really? What did she tell you?" she asked, interested to know what the father and daughter talked about. Frankly, she was hoping that their daughter would tell him something that would jolt his memory.

"I think you know."

She frowned, tilting her head to one side and looking at him curiously. "What are you talking about, Derek? How would I know what you and Kylie talked about?"

He settled in bed next to her, sighing. As much as he wanted to be mad at her for keeping the truth from him, he understood it had to be harder for her to go through her pregnancy alone than for her to share it with him. She was only trying to do the best thing for him with his condition.

He laced his fingers with hers and looked into her eyes. "I know about the baby, Em."

"Oh, God," she breathed, tears springing to her eyes, just the way Kylie had done. "I'm _so _sorry," she whispered, "I never meant for you to find out like this. But things were hectic and it was just too much – I didn't want to burden you. I wanted to wait to share the news until you were better, when you'd know..."

He cut her off, "I would have been happy about another baby, right?"

She nodded. "We'd been trying for a long time."

Morgan wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "I'm sorry you had to go through that all on your own," he whispered into her hair, "I wish there was something I could do to help you."

"It's not your fault."

"Hey, no more tears," he murmured, brushing away her tears gently with his thumb. "That's not good for the baby, right?"

"Probably," she sniffled.

"Stop worrying. Things will get better – I know they will. It might be rough going, but we'll pull through; we always do, since we're still together. Even if I never remember everything, it doesn't change who I am and you know I'd never leave my little ones without a father, I'm gonna stick by you, all three of you."

She collapsed into him. "How is it that you always know the right thing to say, even after I had to remind you where we keep the silverware?"

"What's a husband for?"

She smiled tightly, but pulled away to study him. "Are you sure you're alright?" she asked, "This is a lot to unload on you all at once, finding out we're expecting a baby you don't even remember creating."

"I wish I did remember," he joked, before becoming serious again, "It's nothing I can't handle. I'm kinda excited to be a dad again...in some strange way."


	9. Chapter 9

It was the first time since the accident that Emily could finally sleep without worrying. Even though Morgan had not completely recovered, it still felt good that she didn't need to keep her pregnancy secret from him. She never wanted to go through it alone, she never liked keeping anything from him. Besides, he had the right to know – after all, he was the father of the baby.

They might not have realized and, even though Morgan hadn't remembered everything about them, their relationship was slowly returning to way it was before he got into the accident...slowly. Not that he would have known, but it did make Emily feel somewhat better.

Vaguely, she felt a pair of small hands tug at the edge of her comforter. She tried to ignore it, wanting to go back to sleep, seeing as it had been a long time since she'd had a good night's rest. "Mommy?" Kylie sniffled quietly.

Emily's eyes immediately opened when she heard her daughter's voice. "What is it, sweetie?" she asked gently, picking up the little girl and placing her on the bed. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"No," she whimpered, pulling up the sleeve of her light blue pyjamas, "It itches... I don't like it."

"Your pyjamas are itchy?" she asked, still half asleep, "Do you need help changing them?"

"No," she whined again, "Mommy!" She was still scratching furiously at her arm.

"Let me take a look," Emily said, gently taking hold of Kylie's wrist to get a better look at the area she'd been clawing at. She frowned, eyeing the angry red sores, then leaned over to turn on the lamp at the side of the bed.

Rubbing his eyes groggily, Morgan slowly sat up. "Something wrong?" he asked.

"Mommy, fix it!" Kylie practically sobbed.

"I think she has the chicken pox..." Emily sighed.

...

Emily bit her lip as she watched the doctor examine Kylie. The blistered sores on her arms seemed to have spread everywhere on her little body. It broke her heart that there was nothing they could do to make her feel any better. She had been sobbing since they'd left for the hospital and all they could do was hold her, making sure she wouldn't scratch the sores for the fear that she'd break the skin.

Morgan pulled Emily into his arms, doing what he could to comfort her; having her in his arms made him feel a little better. "She's going to be okay," he murmured, "It's better that she gets it now..."

She nodded, but he knew it didn't make her feel better. Frankly, if he had a choice, he would never want it to happen to his daughter – watching their baby girl in pain made his heart ache.

"You were right to bring her in," the doctor broke through their comforting reverie, "It's definitely chicken pox, but she's got a fever as well – that's pretty common and should go away in a few days. If it doesn't, you'll want to bring her back in."

"Is there anything we can do for her?" Emily asked, protectively stroking Kylie's hair as the little girl lay half asleep on the exam table.

"Make sure she doesn't scratch, which increases the risk of bacterial infection in the sores – keep mittens on her hands, if necessary. Oatmeal baths and calamine lotion should help the itching; give her antihistamines if it gets really bad. Children's Tylenol should help her sleep."

Emily sighed and gently lifted the little girl into her arms. "Ready to go home?" she asked quietly as the little girl nodded.

"Wait," Morgan said, drawing the pediatrician's attention away from the charts. "Doesn't chicken pox pose a risk to pregnant women?"

"Not usually," the doctor said, "Most women already have antibodies that protect against the virus and those antibodies are passed on to the fetus. Though, there are a small percentage of cases where the infection spreads anyways. That risk increases if the woman is not producing the antibodies or if she didn't have a severe enough case the first time."

"So, there _is _a risk?" he pressed.

"Yes," the doctor confirmed, "There are cases where the pregnant mother gets infected. It's rare, but it can happen."

"Emily, maybe you should let me take care of Kylie," he whispered to her, taking their daughter into his arms. "It's safer that way."

"But you..." she sighed, glancing at the pediatrician. "She needs me, Derek. I want to take care of our daughter."

"I'll take care of her," he assured, whispering softly, "I don't remember a lot of things, but I can take care of our baby girl...trust me. Right now, I need you to take care of yourself and the baby. I can't let anything happen to you."

"Mrs. Morgan," the doctor interrupted. "You should listen to your husband. Like I said, it's rare, but there is a chance that you and the baby could be infected. It's for the best," she added comfortingly.

But Emily's pained expression as she looked into the sad eyes of her daughter made it clear that she didn't share the same view.


	10. Chapter 10

She stood at the door of the bathroom, watching Morgan try to convince Kylie to take an oatmeal bath. Even the promise that it would make the itching better didn't seem enough to convince her. It didn't help that the girl was cranky from lack of sleep caused by the itching.

"Daddy, I don't like oatmeal," she pouted.

"You don't have to eat it, it's not like regular oatmeal," he said, "It's just a bath and it will make you feel better."

"Daddy, I don't want to!" she argued.

"Please, kiddo? After you're done, you can have ice cream and we'll read stories," he bargained, knowing that ice cream was one of the only foods that didn't hurt the blisters on her gums...not to mention that he'd never met a kid who didn't like ice cream.

Kylie frowned and bit her lip, still hesitating, and he sighed. He knew it was hard on a four year old to have to go through all of this and not having her mother with her only made it harder, but it was the only thing he could do to keep all three of them safe. "Come on, sweetheart," he coaxed, "Mommy tells me we have strawberry ice cream. And we can even watch movies before you take your nap."

"You promise we'll watch movies?" she asked.

"I promise."

"What about Mommy?" she asked, looking at her mother who was standing by the door. "Will she watch movies with us too?"

"I don't know..." he said slowly, not sure how to explain his worry to the young girl.

"I think I'll be fine for a little while," Emily said, her tone both soothing and deliberate, assuring the girl and telling him to back off.

Kylie finally gave in, though not without a dramatic sigh as she climbed into the bathtub.

...

Morgan sighed as he returned from the bathroom to their bedroom where they were watching a movie with Kylie. He had only been gone for a little while and the little girl had already climbed onto Emily's lap. Neither of them had noticed him standing by the door, watching them. Emily gently stroked their daughter's hair, slowly enticing her to sleep.

Kylie was already dozing off, her head nestled in her mother's chest, looking completely comfortable in her mother's arms.

She had insisted that Emily join them and she didn't protest either. He understood that neither Emily nor Kylie liked to be away from each other for very long. "Is she asleep?" he whispered, almost afraid to wake the little girl who had barely slept the night before.

Glancing down at the little girl's peaceful face, Emily nodded. "Finally."

"I'll put her to bed," he whispered, extending his arms to take her.

"I can do it," Emily replied. She wasn't exactly enjoying the forced separation from her daughter – she missed the contact, the closeness they'd had before she'd been advised to keep her distance

He sighed, "Please, just let me." She seemed about to argue further, but she eventually just pursed her lips together and nodded once, tersely, transferring Kylie into his arms.

She shifted in his grasp and he silently prayed she'd stay asleep long enough to allow him to put her to bed. Unfortunately, though, his luck only held out until he gently set her down on her bed. It was at that point that she opened her eyes. "Mommy?" she whispered.

"Shh," he soothed, "It's okay. Mommy's in her room. Go back to sleep, honey."

"I want Mommy." Tears instantly pooled in her eyes once she realized that Emily wasn't with her. "Mommy!"

"Kylie, sweetheart," Morgan tried to coax, lifting the girl into his arms, "It's okay. Mommy's just in the other room. Daddy's here..."

"I want Mommy," she whimpered, tears streaking down her cheeks, "I want to take my nap with Mommy. Daddy, please... I want _Mommy_."

A look of hurt crossed his face upon realizing that his daughter seemed to prefer her mother's company to his. It might have been purely because she was sick – he couldn't remember a time when she was ill – but the thought didn't make it sting any less. Wasn't he good at comforting her? Was he a bad father?

"Kylie," he said, trying to be stern, but it came off almost pleading, "It's time to rest. Mommy will be here when you wake up."

"I need Mommy," she sobbed, "Mommy!"

"What's wrong, honey?" Emily asked softly, appearing in the doorway, unable to resist going to her daughter when she was crying for her.

Kylie instantly leapt out of bed and ran across the room, flinging herself at her mother and wrapping her arms around her. "Mommy," she whimpered, "I want to take my nap with you. Please?"

"Sure," Emily agreed, "We'll take our naps together, okay? Don't cry, sweetie." The little girl nodded, burying her face in the crook of her mother's neck.

"Emily..."

She glared at Morgan, as if telling him to back off. "That's enough. I don't care what the doctor says, I'm not staying away from my daughter."

"What if you get infected?"

"We'll burn that bridge when we come to it," she answered stubbornly, her arms wrapped around Kylie protectively.

"It will be too late then," he tried to reason, "Kylie's just cranky because she didn't sleep well last night. Once she falls asleep, she'll be okay. Please, Em..."

"Derek, stop!" she snapped, with a little more venom than she'd intended. Then, realizing that she'd just yelled in front of their daughter, she kissed the top of Kylie's head and murmured, "Why don't you go pick out a book and climb in bed and we'll read together before we fall asleep, okay?"

Morgan knew from the look Emily shot him that this discussion clearly wasn't over. He followed her back into their bedroom, closing the door behind them, waiting for the brunt of her anger to come bearing down on him.

"You need to stop this," she said seriously, working to stay calm, "Just because we're married doesn't mean you control me. I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself."

"I'm not trying to control you, Em. I'm just trying to keep you safe," he said, almost pleading. "You heard what the doctor said, there's a chance that you and the baby could be infected. I can't let anything happen to you."

"Well, Kylie's my baby too," she insisted flatly, "She needs me."

"She's my daughter too. Why are you so afraid to leave her alone with me?"

"I'm not afraid."

"Yes, you are."

"Can you blame me?" she asked, saddened and hurt, "You don't remember having her in the first place, how can I trust you with her? I need to make sure that she doesn't know that you forgot about her. You don't think I'm afraid that something will happen to the baby?"

"Well, it doesn't seem like it. You can't just choose who you're parenting at the moment – you have to take care of Kylie and the baby, you can't just choose one to take precedence right now."

The second those words left his lips and the tears sprang to her eyes at the insinuation that she didn't care about their unborn child, he wanted to kick himself. He didn't mean to say anything like that, he knew she loved their unborn child more than anything. He just wanted to keep his family safe...right now, though, that seemed to only tear them apart at the seams.

Blinking back tears, she said slowly, "You know, I don't care what people say about me, but I wasn't expecting that from you."

"I didn't mean to say that..." his voice and heart were heavy with guilt, "I know you're not that kind of person, Em. Let me explain..."

"Save it," she huffed, "Kylie needs me to put her to bed and we both need to cool off..."

"Emily, I'm sorry," he said softly, grabbing her hand.

She looked at him sadly. "I know..."


	11. Chapter 11

Morgan peered through the crack of his daughter's bedroom door, the little girl had finally fallen asleep, looking as peaceful as she could be. Emily, on the other hand, was not so at peace. Tears were silently falling from her eyes as she tenderly stroked Kylie's hair; it didn't take much for him to know who had made her cry again...

He hadn't meant to say what he had – he knew she wasn't the kind of person who would play favourites when it came to their children. She loved them all the same and she was only trying to be a good mother. She certainly did not need him to doubt that.

She quickly wiped away her tears when the door slowly swung open. "How is she?" he asked quietly, noticing that she refused to meet his eyes.

"She's fine," she replied curtly, "Fever's gone down and she's asleep."

He settled at the foot of the little bed and sighed when Emily still refused to look at him...not that he could blame her. "Emily, can we talk? Please?"

"Not now," she said flatly.

"Please," he said again, "We need to talk about what happened."

"I don't want to wake Kylie."

"Don't shut me out, Em," he whispered, "I know I hurt you by what I said, but I didn't mean it... Just let me explain myself."

"I don't want to talk to you now," she said, glaring at him, "I'm still mad."

"I know you're still mad and you have every right to be, but please," he begged, "We have to talk about this now. We don't want Kylie to know that we're fighting, right? Please, Em. Give me a chance."

She glared at him again before turning her attention to their little girl who was sleeping peacefully. Carefully, she shifted the girl's head from her lap to the pillow, pulling up the covers to make sure she would be warm. She pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before making her way to their bedroom with Morgan following close behind.

"What do you want to say?" she asked flatly, sitting at the edge of their bed as he closed the door.

"I want to say I'm sorry," he said for what felt like the umpteenth time, "You can be mad and you don't have to forgive me, but _please_ just believe me. I know this is hard for you, but it's hard for me too – you have to remember, I'm not the same man you married...I'm trying, but I'm going to make mistakes until I get there. What I said was a mistake and I know that..."

"And what do you want me to say? I don't forgive you, not yet," she said, "What you said hurt me... I thought even if you don't remember what happened in the last five years, you should know I'm not that kind of person."

"I know you're not," he said insistently, moving closer to her, "I'm sorry I said that. I would take it back if I could."

"But you can't..." she murmured, biting back tears – she didn't want to cry again. "I know you're trying and I know it's hard for you, but I'm so tired, Derek... Everyday, I'm worried about you...what if you never remember? What if Kylie knows you forgot about her? It would only break her heart and she doesn't deserve that..."

"So, what are you saying?" he asked quietly, "If I don't remember, does that change things?"

"Maybe," she sighed, "I don't know... I love you – I'll _always _love you – but later on, when you're doing late night feedings and diaper changes and can't remember wanting this, are you going to feel like you were forced into this?"

"Of course not," he insisted, "I'll do the right thing and take care of my children – you know that."

"That's not what I mean; doing the right thing is not the same as not resenting us because of it..." She finally gave up holding back her tears and let them fall freely. "You're a good man, Derek. I love you for that and nothing is ever going to change how I feel about you, but you don't remember anything we had together. You don't remember loving me or having Kylie or wanting another baby... What happens if you never remember? What if you realize this isn't what you wanted and leave? What do I tell our kids then?"

"Is that what was on your mind all this time?" he asked, hurt clear in his voice, "You think I would leave you and our children just because I think this isn't what I wanted?"

"I don't know what to think anymore, Derek..."

He shifted closer to her, brushing her tears away with his thumb gently. "Don't ever think about me leaving because that's _never_ going to happen," he whispered, "I might not remember having a family with you, but I told you, I do know that I love you. I know being with you and Kylie is where I'm supposed to be. Having another baby on the way isn't going to change any of that, this little one will only make me happier. Trust me, please."

"I _do _trust you," she said genuinely, "More than anyone." She sighed, leaning in to his touch. "But sometimes... I'm not sure I know how to do this."

"We'll get through it," he assured, "The sky always looks darkest before the dawn. Just promise me you won't lose hope, that you won't lose faith in me – in _us_."

"How can you be so optimistic? Things seem so bad and just when you think they can't get worse, they do... How are you still holding on to hope?"

"Because I have to," he whispered, "I have to believe that things are going to get better, that this isn't what the rest of our lives will be like. Promise me you won't give up..."

He saw he hesitation in her eyes and pulled her into his arms. "Do this for Kylie and our new baby... They need you. I need you."

"I promise," she whispered after a long moment, "I won't give up..."

"Thank you." He kissed away her tears, then murmured against her lips, "I _do_ love you," before kissing her gently.

He thought he might have heard her mumble something in reply, but the words were lost as she hugged him tightly, burying her face in his chest. When she pulled back, she said softly, "I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to apologize," he said seriously, pulling her in for another gentle kiss.

"Mommy?" came a tiny voice from the doorway. "Are you crying?"

"No," she said lamely, quickly brushing her tears away.

"You're lying," Kylie said, looking at her pointedly as Morgan helped her climb onto the bed. "Why are you crying, Mommy?" She looked at her father for a moment, then turned back to Emily, "Was Daddy not nice to you?"

"No," Emily insisted, "Sometimes, Mommys and Daddys just don't..."

Morgan interrupted, "Yes... I said some mean things – that weren't true – to Mommy and it made her sad."

Kylie affixed him with her best stern glare and he was almost taken aback by just how much it looked like Emily's 'not happy with you' glare. "That wasn't nice of you," she said seriously.

"I know," he said, playing up the guilty look, "I'm sorry."

But Kylie didn't seem convinced. "What do you think?" Emily asked the girl, "Should we send him to time-out?"

If he were honest with himself, he would have to admit that he was rather nervous waiting for the little girl's verdict. He knew he should be punished for what he had said to Emily and hurting her in the process, but it still wasn't fun to know that your own daughter – who was only four – was also mad at you.

"I think he shouldn't have dessert after dinner," she said solemnly.

He suspected that, in her mind, that was a worse punishment. But he played along nonetheless. "No fair!" he pouted.

"When you're bad, you don't get dessert," the girl insisted firmly, "And then you learn to be nice to Mommy."

He shot Emily a raised eyebrow and she just shrugged as if there was nothing she could do. "Okay..." he sighed dramatically.

Kylie smiled triumphantly and patted him on the arm reassuringly. "And say you're sorry."

He tried to resist rolling his eyes at his daughter's little power-trip as he once again apologized to his wife. When Kylie wasn't looking, he mouthed, _'She gets this from you...' _but unfortunately, the little girl caught it. "Are you not being nice to Mommy again, Daddy?" she asked.

Emily bit her cheek to keep herself from laughing aloud when she caught the surprised look on Morgan's face. "No," she smiled, saving him from their daughter, "Daddy's being nice. He's just reminding Mommy that it's time to make dinner."

The little girl seemed to believe that answer, which lead Morgan to let out a quiet sigh of relief. "Thank you," he whispered to Emily, "And I really am sorry."

She squeezed his hand gently, "I know."


	12. Chapter 12

"Grandma!" Kylie trilled happily, dashing across the airport to fling herself into her grandmother's arms.

"Hello, sweetheart," Fran Morgan laughed warmly, wrapping the girl in a hug. "Oh, I've missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, Grandma," Kylie said, grabbing her hand tightly and tugging her along back towards her parents.

Emily smiled nervously as her mother-in-law and her daughter made their way back to them. They hadn't been expecting Fran to fly to DC, but she'd insisted on coming to help Emily take care of Kylie after the little girl had excitedly told her grandmother that she was going to be a big sister.

Both Kylie and Fran were so excited about the new baby, but neither of them knew about Morgan's accident and they had agreed not to tell either of them, knowing it wouldn't do anyone any good.

"Hello, Mama," Morgan smiled, wrapping his arms around her, "You look great."

"You look great too, sweetheart," she smiled, then moved on to wrap her arms around Emily. "Hello Emily, dear, let me get at you." She took a step back and examined her daughter-in-law. A frown appeared on her face, "You look like you've lost weight... You should be _gaining_ weight – you're pregnant for goodness' sake. Has Derek been giving you problems?" she asked jokingly.

Emily shared an anxious look with her husband. If only she knew... She gave a half-laugh, trying to hide the nervous edge. "No more than usual," she lied, "Things have just been a little stressful lately." It wasn't _entirely_ a lie... "And I probably haven't been eating as well as I should."

"Well, we can fix that," Fran promised and Emily had no doubt that her mother-in-law would be carefully monitoring what she ate, making sure she took good care of her future grandchild.

As they made their way to their car, Kylie bounded happily alongside her grandmother, telling her everything she had done when she wasn't around, while Morgan and Emily followed closely behind. "It's gonna be okay," he whispered, wrapping his arm around her waist, "Stop worrying."

"I'll try," she said, giving him a small smile. But they both knew that was easier said than done.

...

It had been a long time since Fran had come to visit and, instead of instead of making dinner for her, which she would undoubtedly eventually take over, making dinner for _them_, Emily thought it would be better that they take her out to dinner at one of her favourite restaurants.

Kylie had no problems with that since it meant that she got to wear her favourite dress and have dinner at a nice place with Grandma. But Morgan found it a little more worrisome – his mother was a profiler in her own right and she could tell when something wasn't right with her children and, considering that she didn't have cooking to distract her, he knew they were going to have to work twice as hard to maintain the facade of everything being alright.

For now, though, Kylie seemed to be doing a good enough job of providing a distraction, at least for the moment.

He looked over at Emily, watching her push her food around her plate. He gently elbowed her to get her attention, silently reassuring her that they could do this. But her terse smile clearly conveyed that she wasn't convinced.

"Is something wrong, dear?" Fran asked, noticing that Emily had barely taken a bite. "Does the baby not like the food here? It's common for pregnant woman to be picky... We can go somewhere else if you like."

"No," she feigned a smile, "I'm just not very hungry."

"How can you not be hungry?" she asked incredulously. "You barely had anything for lunch. Eat something, dear. Can't let the baby go hungry," she said, smiling happily, obviously thrilled that there was going to be another little one in their family.

Emily seemed hesitant, but Morgan smiled and took her hand in his, silently assuring her that things would be okay. "Listen to Mama, she knows best. Do you want to order something else? Mushroom risotto sounds nice," he suggested gently.

She sighed, "I guess I could try that...maybe Baby will like that better." She pulled on a smile that felt a little fake, but was sufficiently reassuring. "I don't remember being this picky with Kylie." It wasn't really the same, but not everyone was privy to that.

Morgan gently pulled her in to kiss her forehead, pausing to whisper in her ear to just hang on a little longer. She gently squeezed his hand and smiled softly, assuring him that she was okay. She took a few slow, deep breaths, trying to relax and focus on enjoying spending time with her family.

Kylie vied for her grandmother's attention – clearly wishing her visits were more frequent – as Fran tried to converse with Morgan and Emily was glad not to be the centre of attention, at least for a little while.

Morgan let Kylie take over the conversation once again when he noticed a woman making her way towards them, feeling like he should know her, but struggling to place her. "Is everything okay," Emily whispered quietly, noticing his sudden confusion.

He shook his head, deciding it was nothing – he didn't want to worry her anymore than she already was. "It's just been a long day," he shrugged.

But apparently he spoke too soon as the woman approached and greeted them warmly, clearly more than just passing acquaintances.

Emily caught the look on Morgan's face – clearly, he didn't remember the lady to whom they were speaking. "Daddy, who is she?" Kylie asked in a stage-whisper, tugging his sleeve.

The lady smiled and gently patted Kylie's head. "You don't remember me, but I was there when you were born. You were so tiny – you looked just like an itty bitty version of your mom."

"Really?" Kylie asked curiously, "Are you Mommy's friend?"

"I guess you could say that," she smiled, "I'm a special doctor who helps mommies when they have babies – like when your Mommy had you."

Emily watched a look of understanding cross Morgan's face – understanding, but not recognition and she wonders if anyone else can read it.

"Are you gonna help when the new baby is born?" Kylie asked, taking an instant shine to the woman, just as she did with most people.

"Yes," she replied. "Are you excited to be a big sister?"

"Yeah," the little girl smiled brightly, "I'm gonna be the best big sister in the world!"

Everyone at the table smiled softly at the little girl's words. "Of course you are," the doctor agreed, "This baby is so lucky to have you."

Emily took the opportunity to keep the attention away from Morgan and introduced Fran to the doctor. The older woman began asking questions about Emily's pregnancy and her poor appetite, which the doctor assured was normal during the first trimester.

Finally, the doctor turned her attention to Morgan. "You must be really happy to finally have another baby on the way," she said good-naturedly.

He smiled and nodded. "It's...a blessing," he said, struggling for words that wouldn't sound fake, that would sound like him.

"Congratulations," she said genuinely, "You're very lucky – you have a wonderful family."

He nodded, squeezing Emily's hand and giving her a half-smile, knowing it was true. She returned the smile; it felt good to know that even if he didn't remember a lot of things about them, he never doubted that they were meant to be together.

Kylie's small voice broke the moment, "When is the baby coming?"

"It will be months before the baby comes, sweetheart," Emily replied gently, wiping the stain on the corner of her daughter's mouth tenderly.

"That's a long time," she pouted, "Can the baby come _now_? Please, Mommy?" She worked up her best puppy dog eyes and most adorable pout.

Everyone at the table laughed and Morgan shook his head. "Sweetie, the baby needs time to grow in Mommy's tummy. You took a long time to grow before you came to Mommy and Daddy."

"I don't like waiting..."

Emily smiled and turned to Morgan, "She gets that from you."


	13. Chapter 13

"Hello?" Fran answered the phone, watching as Kylie sprinted down the stairs to find her game of Candyland.

"_May I please speak with Derek Morgan?" _the caller asked, sounding authoritative.

"He's not in right now," she replied, "Can I take a message?"

"_May I speak with his wife instead?"_ the caller asked, hesitant to give details about the call's subject to someone else, _"It's important that I speak with someone."_

"She's sleeping – but I'm his mother," she informed, "What is this about?"

"_Umm,"_ the caller paused for a moment, clearly wanting to speak with Morgan or Emily instead, but nonetheless conceded, _"Please tell him to call his neurologist as soon as possible."_

"Neurologist?" she frowned, feeling her pulse speed up a little with anxiety. "What neurologist? Why does Derek need to see a neurologist?" she asked worriedly.

"_Ma'am, I think you should speak with your son,"_ the caller suggested, _"I cannot divulge information about the patient's case."_

"But I'm his _mother_!"

"_I'm sorry; it goes against doctor-patient confidentiality,"_ the caller informed apologetically. _"Please tell him to call his neurologist – it's urgent,"_ he repeated.

It was several moments of listening to the dial tone in her ear before Fran finally remembered herself enough to hang up the phone. She couldn't believe that no one had told her anything about an appointment with a neurologist or her son being in any sort of accident recently. Why would they keep something so important from her?

"Grandma, are you okay?" Kylie asked, climbing onto the couch, next to her.

"I'm okay," she feigned a smile. She decided to ask Kylie if she knew anything about what had happened recently – it was a long shot, but she needed answers. "Did anything happen to Daddy recently? Has Daddy been sick?"

Kylie shrugged. "We went on an airplane to visit him 'cause he was in the hospital...but he didn't seem sick to me. And then Mommy cried a bunch after that..." she said thoughtfully. Fran nodded, but was silent, biting her lip. After several moments, Kylie spoke again, voice a little whiney, "Can we play Candyland _now_, Grandma?"

"Of course, sweetheart," she replied, "But remember you have to be quiet so we don't wake up Mommy."

"I promise," Kylie said, grinning toothily as she set up the game. "Do you wanna be red or green?"

"Blue," Fran said.

"Grandma! I said _red _or _green_..."

"I'm sorry, dear," she attempted a smile, "I guess I'm just a little distracted."

...

Almost an hour into playing Candyland, Kylie's eyes began to droop and Fran suggested that she take a nap, but the little girl, like her parents, was stubborn and insisted that she didn't need a nap. She refused to go to bed, saying that she wanted to spend more time with her. But a promise to bake cookies when she woke up finally broke her down and she let her grandmother carry her to her room.

Thankfully, no sooner had Kylie fallen asleep, Fran heard her son's SUV pulling into the garage. She had been waiting anxiously for him to get home so she could get her answers.

The second Morgan walked though the door, he had a feeling that something was wrong. The look on his mother's face when she made her way down the stairs was enough to tell him that she had a bone to pick with him.

"Something wrong, Mama?" he asked, even though it was clear there was.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked quietly.

He felt like his heart skipped a few beats, but on the off chance that she wasn't talking about what he thought, he played dumb. "What are you talking about?"

"Why are you seeing a neurologist?" she asked the more pressing question.

There was no escaping it anymore, she obviously knew something was going on and he knew he couldn't lie to her. "You should sit down." He took her hand and pulled her to the sofa, sitting down, urging his mother to do the same. "Almost a month ago, I got into an accident..."

"How bad?"

He opened his mouth, about to reply, but was interrupted by Emily coming down the stairs after her nap. "Is something wrong?" She caught the look on both Morgan and Fran's faces and turned to her husband, "What happened?"

"She knows..." he said quietly.

"Know what?" Fran asked, getting upset, "What happened?"

"I hit my head in the accident," he explained slowly, squeezing her hands gently, "And there was some brain damage..." He paused, the look on her face breaking his heart – he almost didn't want to continue, knowing she'd be devastated. He sighed, deciding this was like ripping off a band-aid, better to just get it over with. "I essentially lost five years of my memory...the _last_ five years..."

She was silent again, struggling to wrap her mind around what he'd just told her. "So...you don't remember getting married or having a family?"

"No," he shook his head sadly.

"Why didn't you tell me!" She glared from Emily to Morgan, exasperated and furious that they'd kept something so important from her. "How could you keep this from me?"

Emily stood at the bottom of the stairs, tears pooling in her eyes, whispering, "I'm sorry. We..."

She didn't manage to finish her sentence, interrupted by Morgan wrapped his arms around her, assuring her that they were going to be okay. "Don't be sorry," he whispered, "It's not your fault. Mama will understand..."

"I _don't _understand," she said, "How could you not tell your own _mother_! You could have died!"

"I'm _so _sorry," Emily said again, tears running down her cheeks, Morgan's reassurances doing nothing to calm her, "I know we should have told you...but just trying to get through everyday was so overwhelming..."

"Mama, we didn't want to worry you," Morgan said, his voice heavy with guilt. "It won't do anyone any good... I'm fine now, I just don't remember stuff..."

"That's not fine!" she insisted, "How can not remembering your family be fine?" She rounded on Emily, "You should have told me. It would be easier if you didn't have to go through it alone." Her face wore a heartbreaking expressing of hurt and sadness with just a hint of anger. "I take it that Kylie doesn't know any of this."

"No," Emily sniffled, "We didn't tell her. She would be heartbroken if she knew Derek doesn't remember her..."

"What about you?" she asked, "You're pregnant, but you have to worry about all this. It's not fair to you..."

Morgan began to defend, "It's not like this was something we planned... I didn't even know she was pregnant at the time..."

But Emily cut him off, insisting, "I'm fine." She rested a hand on her stomach. "I handle stress all the time, I should be able to deal with this..."

"You didn't have to deal with it alone," Fran whispered, "I would have been there for you. I know better than anyone what it's like..." Tears fell freely from her eyes now.

"I'm fine, really," Emily tried to convince through her own tears. She gently caressed Morgan's cheek. "Derek's progress has been really good and he's been there for me. And as long as Kylie doesn't know anything about this, I'll be okay. You heard the doctor, the baby's really healthy. I don't even have morning sickness..." she added lamely, hoping to convince her mother-in-law that it wasn't that big a deal even though she knew it was.

Fran sighed and turned to her son. "You're lucky that she's your wife," she said, looking at him pointedly, "You'd better be really good to her."

"I will," he said, hugging her tightly, "I promise."


	14. Chapter 14

Kylie bit her lip as she stood outside the door to her parents' room. She had promised them that she wouldn't ask to sleep with them unless she had a really bad dream and was really scared. She hadn't had a bad dream, but she was afraid... As she opened the door, she hoped that her parents wouldn't be mad at her for breaking her promise.

"Honey, what are you doing here?" Emily asked, putting her book down as soon as the girl entered the room, "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"

She climbed onto the big bed with Morgan's help and looked at her parents worriedly. "Can I sleep here tonight? Please?"

"Sweetheart, you know how we talked about being a big girl and sleeping in your own bed..." Emily said gently.

Kylie's lip began to quiver. "Please?" She turned to her father, figuring he'd be the softer touch. "Please, Daddy?"

"Did you have a nightmare, princess?" he murmured, pulling her into his lap.

"No," she whimpered, "But I wanna sleep here tonight. Please?"

"Why do you want to sleep here tonight?" Emily asked, gently stroking the little girl's hair. "Did something bad happen?"

Once again, her lip quivered and tears began streaming down her cheeks. "Nicole says you don't want me anymore!" she practically wailed. She flung herself against her father's chest, her tears soaking through his shirt as he soothingly ran a hand over her back.

"Your friend from school?" Emily asked, "Why would she say that?"

"Her mommy and daddy have a new baby too and she says they don't have time for her anymore," she sobbed, "She says they don't love her anymore..."

Morgan and Emily shared a look of understanding. "You think we don't want you because we're going to have a new baby?" Morgan asked softly.

Kylie nodded, sobbing harder. "You'll be too busy taking care of the baby – you won't have time for me."

"Sweetheart," Morgan murmured, cradling Kylie in his arms, "That's not true. We'll make time for you."

"No, you won't..." she sniffled, "You'll like the baby more than me..."

Emily shifted closer to them and moved Kylie onto her lap. "Look at me, honey. When they new baby comes, Mommy and Daddy will be busy taking care of the baby, but that doesn't mean we won't have time for you. We'll always love you and we'll make time for you. We like you and the baby all the same," she added gently.

"Really?

"Of course," they promised in unison.

"You're our baby too," Morgan added, "And we'll always love you because you're a part of our family." Kylie leaned over to hug him, then her mother.

"The new baby will need a lot of attention," Emily said gently, "So, sometimes it might feel like we're spending more time with it – but that doesn't mean we love it any more than you. And you're a big girl, so we're going to need your help sometimes."

She looked at her parents with wide eyes. "I get to _help_?"

"Of course, honey," Emily laughed, "The baby's going to need it's big sister."

"So, you'll still want me even when the baby's here?"

Emily hugged the little girl tightly, whispering, "Mommy and Daddy will _never_ not want you. We love you so much."

"I love you too, Mommy," she whispered, then snuggled between the two adults and hugged Morgan. "Love you too, Daddy."

"Do you want to talk to the baby?" Morgan asked, tenderly running a hand over Emily's slowly growing belly.

"But it's not even here yet," Kylie said, rolling her eyes.

"I know that, silly girl," he chuckled, tickling her, "I'll show you how." Emily obligingly pulled up her shirt to expose her stomach and Morgan gently rested his head against it. "Hey, there little one, it's Daddy. I love you so much and I can't wait to meet you."

Kylie jumped up and down twice in her excitement before remembering she wasn't supposed to jump on the bed. "Daddy, let me try!" she exclaimed.

He laughed and moved out of the way, so the girl could take his place.

"Hi, baby," she grinned, "I'm your big sister! When you get here we can be best friends _forever_! And we'll bake cookies and I'll teach you how to ride a bike and..."

Emily laughed, but stepped in before the girl got too wound-up, "Slow down, Kylie – you'll have lots of time before the baby comes to tell it everything you want to do together. It's time for bed."

She nodded, then leaned down for one more moment to whisper, "I love you...and I hope you're a little sister." Then she pressed a kiss to Emily's small baby bump. She yawned. "Can I still sleep here tonight?" she asked, tiredness evident in her voice.

Morgan and Emily shared a look and, between her daughter's adorable pout and her husband's pleading eyes, she knew she just couldn't resist either of them. She nodded quickly and Morgan smiled. "Mommy says it's okay," he said to Kylie. Emily didn't have to look to know that they had the same cheeky grin on their faces.

"Only tonight," Emily said, trying to be firm, but unable to resist smiling at their mischievous grins.

"Can we have pancakes tomorrow?" the little girl asked tiredly, her eyes fluttering open and closed as she yawned.

"Of course, kiddo," Morgan promised, "With chocolate chips on them."

She hummed a litte noise of happiness as she snuggled closer to her father. Emily watched with a tender smile as he pulled his daughter onto his chest the way he used to do when she was a baby. Catching her gaze, he whispered, "This feels right, like she belongs here, in my arms."

She got a little choked up with happy tears and leaned in to kiss him gently. The feel of her mother's body leaning in closer caused Kylie's eyes to open a crack. "Mommy?" she murmured.

"I'm here, honey – go back to sleep."

"Snuggle with us?" she asked innocently.

Emily and Morgan shared a look before she turned her attention back to her daughter. "Sweetie, I'm not sure that's such a good idea..."

"Why not?" Kylie wheedled, working up her cutest, most pleading look.

"Because it's really warm," Emily said lamely.

"But the window's open..." the little girl pouted, "Please, Mommy..."

Morgan caught her eye again, watching her bite her lip nervously. Even after what had happened, he could still read even the slightest hit of emotion on her face – not that he really needed to discern what she was feeling, the same emotions choking out any other conscious thoughts.

But he knew how important it was to preserve the girl's innocence, to keep this from her gentle soul. He gave a small, almost imperceptible nod to tell her he was fine with it.

She sighed heavily, hesitantly moving closer. "Alright, honey..." She wrapped an arm around the girl and slowly settled against her husband's body.

They both tried hard to pretend things were normal, but the fact remained that they weren't, not even close. In fact, for quite possibly the first time since they'd started dating, lying cuddled up together was..._awkward_.

But watching the huge triumphant grin spread across the little girl's face before she sighed happily and settled into a peaceful sleep was enough for them to be willing to endure the awkwardness for a little while longer. But as soon as Kylie had fallen asleep, Emily carefully moved out of Morgan's arms with a sigh and a faint apologetic smile.

He reached out to gently grab her wrist, instantly missing having her close. "We can stay like this," he whispered. "It's not that awkward anymore... It actually feels comfortable."

"Are you sure?" she asked worriedly, afraid that they were putting too much stress on him. But, on the other hand, she really missed falling asleep and waking up in his arms. "You don't have to pretend that you're okay with this... I know it takes time."

He sensed that the awkwardness didn't only stem from him, though he didn't call her out on it. "I'm not pretending," he assured, "I've missed you..."

She almost choked up upon hearing him say that. "I've missed you too," she whispered, settling back in his arms.


	15. Chapter 15

After breakfast, Fran and Morgan sat at the breakfast bar with their coffee, watching Emily and Kylie colouring. He smiled when Emily and Kylie laughed at something the little girl had said; he didn't quite catch what they were talking about, but their laughter was music to his ears. He couldn't remember the last time since Emily had laughed so warmly.

As he watched his family, Fran's gaze travelled from her son to Emily, a frown slowly appearing on her face. "Derek?"

"Yes, Mama?" he asked tearing his eyes away from his beautiful family.

"When was the last time you and Emily spent time together?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked curiously, "We spend time together everyday."

"I mean, alone – without Kylie."

"I guess...we haven't really been alone since before the accident," he admitted slowly, a hint of apology in his voice, knowing his mother wouldn't be pleased with the answer.

She raised an eyebrow, but said nothing for a moment. She almost seemed anxious about what his answer to her next question would be, but she asked nonetheless, "Why not? Don't you think it would help?" She paused. "Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing," he said quickly, shaking his head.

"Derek James Morgan, don't you lie to your mother."

He gave her a tiny smile. "Really, it's nothing. It's just..." he sighed, "I'm just a little nervous."

"About what? She's your wife..."

"That's the problem," he sighed, "I don't remember that. What if I'm not the same man she married?"

"Not remembering the last five years of your life doesn't change who you are inside," she argued, "You're still Derek Morgan. You're still the man she loves."

"I know she loves me, but it's not fair to her," he said, his voice heavy with guilt, "This isn't supposed to happen to her."

"Derek, she knows you're trying," she whispered softly, "She doesn't blame you for this, you shouldn't blame yourself either. It won't make her feel any better if she knows you're mad at yourself for hurting her when you never meant to. Do her a favour, take her out to dinner. I can handle Kylie for a few hours."

"Are you sure?" he asked, still apprehensive, "Because..."

His mother shook her head adamantly. "I'm not taking no for an answer," she said firmly. Then her tone softened, "Trust me, this will help. I know the perfect little place..."

...

"Are you sure about this, Derek?" she asked from the other side of the door as she put on her dress. She knew it wasn't his idea to go out on a romantic date in the first place and Fran was only trying to help, but she was afraid it would turn out to be too stressful for him. "We don't have to do this," she insisted gently, "I could tell her I'm not feeling well..."

"I'm okay," he assured. "Besides, I think Mama's right, we need to spend some quality time alone."

Before she left the bathroom, she checked her make up and dress one last time, making sure she looked presentable. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm the butterflies zipping around in her stomach. She knew it was normal to be anxious, considering it was the first time they'd been on a date since the accident and it was, essentially, their first date ever as far as Morgan was concerned.

"Are you nervous?" she asked, trying not to let her own hesitation become apparent.

He was silent for a moment, trying to decide what answer was going to put her at ease, her attempts at being subtle not so successful. "No," he said, working up his best smug expression, "Derek Morgan is never nervous with the ladies."

She laughed, unsure whether he was purposefully trying to ease the tension or not, but it had worked nonetheless. "Derek, we've been married for five years...I know when you're lying to me." Finally, she worked up the courage to emerge from the bathroom.

"I never..." he started to reply with dead seriousness, but the rest of his sentence was lost as he turned around and caught sight of her. His jaw hung open just a little as he unabashedly let his eyes roam over her body. "I... Umm..." he stammered, "Wow..."

She couldn't help the smile that broke out upon her lips. She laughed, "That's what you said on our first date."

"I can see why I said that," he whispered after taking a moment to compose himself. "You're beautiful. I'm a very lucky man," he added sincerely.

"Thanks," she blushed, "You're not too bad yourself."

"Thanks. Are we ready to go?" he asked, then grinned, "Mama will probably be here in the next few minutes to chase us out."

True enough, Kylie and Fran were already waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. "You look really pretty, Mommy," Kylie smiled brightly when Emily scooped her up in her arms.

"Thank you, sweetheart," she smiled, kissing her daughter's cheek. "Daddy and Mommy are going out for a little while, can you be a good girl for Grandma?"

She nodded eagerly as she hugged both her parents goodbye. "Can I stay up until you get home?"

"Sure, sweetie," Emily promised, knowing that she'd be fast asleep twenty minutes after her bedtime.

"Don't hurry home," Fran scolded, taking Kylie into her arms, "You deserve some time to relax and enjoy yourselves." As she hugged her son, she added, "Don't worry..."

"Too late..."

...

Emily's heart began racing when Morgan made a right turn down a familiar street to the restaurant. He hadn't told her where he was taking her, saying that it was supposed to be a surprise, but she wasn't expecting him to take her to_ that _restaurant. It probably wasn't his idea – she figured that Fran had told him it was the perfect place for their date.

She was only trying to help...but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, hesitantly reaching over to hold her hand as he turned into the parking lot.

Such a simple question, but the fact that he didn't understand what was the source of her pain was like adding insult to injury. "It's nothing," she said with a barely concealed sniffle as she desperately fought to keep her emotions in check.

"Please, don't lie to me..." he murmured, gently pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

She shook her head. "It's not your fault... I don't want to stress you out – or ruin our evening." He looked at her with gentle pleading eyes. She sighed, "It's just... This is where we went on our first date."

"Oh..." He looked at her with a guilty expression and sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't know... Mama told me you liked this restaurant."

"It's not your fault," she whispered again, giving him a reassuring smile. "She's right, I like the food here. It's just the hormones that are driving me insane. I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" he asked worriedly, "We can go somewhere else. We don't have to do this if it's too hard."

"No, I'm fine," she squeezed his hand gently. "It's not easy to get a reservation here. Besides, I'm craving the steak here..." she added lamely, hoping it was enough to convince him that she was alright. She didn't want anything to ruin their evening; it wasn't everyday that they got to go on a date and just spend time together.


	16. Chapter 16

As the song struck up, he reached out for her hand. "Care to dance?" he asked, putting on his most charming smile.

She opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out, only a strangled breath. He didn't wait for an answer before gently tugging her towards the dance floor and pulling her close against his body.

That's when he saw the tears glittering in her eyes. "No, no, no," he said desperately, feeling his heart drop, "Don't cry! This is supposed to be a _happy_ time..." He pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. "I thought you liked this song..." he added, slightly deflated that his attempts at a romantic evening had obviously gone so astray. "I heard you listening to it and..."

"I do like it..." she whispered.

"Then why are you crying?" he murmured, gently wiping away her tears with his thumbs, which seemed like the thing he did for her most often recently. "Did I do something wrong?

"No," she attempted a smile, "You didn't... It's just the hormones."

"Please don't lie to me..."

She sighed, "It was the song we danced to the night you proposed."

He shut his eyes, feeling terrible that he'd inadvertently hurt her. "I'm sorry," he sighed as he gently wiped away her tears, "This is turning out to be a pretty crappy date..."

She sniffled and shook her head, "No, it's not. Well, it might not be the _best_ date we've ever been on, but it's a date with the man I love..."

He knew she was telling the truth and he knew she was only trying to make him feel better, but there was nothing she could say that could convince him that he wasn't breaking her heart.

"I'm sorry," he murmured again, "I'm trying really hard, but I just don't know... That's the problem, isn't it?"

"It's okay," she smiled, "I know you're trying, that's all that matters. I still love you."

"Am I worth it?" he asked quietly – it was so soft that Emily almost missed it.

"What?" she breathed, feeling her insides twisting into knots.

"If I never get better – if I never remember, if it doesn't come back," he explained, voice soft, "Is it going to break your heart everyday knowing the man you married is gone? Am I worth that pain?"

"Of course you are," she said seriously, tightening her grip on him as if that would convince him. Her voice was barely there as she added, "I don't have a choice... I love you and _nothing _is ever going to change that."

He said nothing for a moment, studying her. "I know you love me," he murmured eventually, "I love you too...but you can't deny that things have changed."

She shut her eyes tightly for a moment, taking several deep breaths, struggling not to burst into tears again. "You feel out of place sometimes, don't you?" she asked quietly, "When you're with us – Kylie and I – you feel like you don't belong..."

"I..." he started to say, but she shook her head.

"Just...let me get through this," she practically begged, "You don't remember this, wanting a family, and I...I don't want you to feel trapped, like you were forced into this... So, if you want to leave, I won't stop you."

He tried to speak, to say anything, but he felt like all the air had been sucked from the room.

"I don't want to lose you, but I want you to be happy. And, if starting over is what's going to make you happy, I'd rather let you go than have you stay and come to resent us... It will hurt – a lot – but not as much as spending every day knowing that you don't love us." She turned her head away from him so he wouldn't see her falling apart.

"And what about the kids?" he asked at length.

"I can take care of them and you can always see them. I'll have to tell Kylie what happened, but she'll understand...with time."

"What about you?" he asked.

"I can handle it," she insisted, "I'm strong enough to do this on my own. You don't have to worry about the kids. I'll make sure they're happy."

"What if I said I don't _want_ to leave?" he murmured. "What if I said I want to stay with you and our kids? Emily, I feel out of place sometimes because I don't remember, but I know that leaving isn't going to solve anything – I'm not going to be happy without my family. Maybe at one point in my life I was happy to be single and alone, but I don't want that anymore. I'm happy with you and Kylie. Don't make me go," he whispered pleadingly.

"I don't want to lose you either, but I don't know if you're really happy or if you're staying because you feel responsible." She attempted a smile, but it was more of a grimace. "I'd love for you to stay and be with me forever, just like you promised, but I don't want you to force yourself to stay with us if you're not really happy. I love you and if leaving makes you happy, I can live with it."

He wrapped his arms tightly around her, never wanting to let her go. She was crying now and he could feel her hitching breath and her warm tears against his chest. "I'm not going to lie," he warned, "Things have been hard lately, but never once have I wanted to leave. That's what marriage is about, right? For better, for worse... You and Kylie and the baby – you're all I have, I don't want to lose you."

She didn't look up at him, her voice muffled and barely there, "Don't make me a promise you can't keep. Because if you promise me you won't leave and then you do...I won't be strong enough to get through that..."

"I _can _promise you that and I'll promise it every day until you believe me. I'd walk to the ends of the Earth to be with you, I'd walk through a burning building to be with you, but I will _never _walk away from you."

She finally pulled away from him enough to look at him, needing to see that he was serious. "Good," she said softly, "Because I won't ever be able to let you go again."


	17. Chapter 17

They shared a soft smile as they quietly made their way up the stairs, taking care not to make any unnecessary noise, for fear of waking Kylie or Fran up. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Emily made a beeline for their daughter's bedroom.

She knew that Fran would do a great job when it came to taking care of Kylie, but she still wanted to check on the little girl herself, kissing her good night before she returned to their room.

"Thanks for dinner," she whispered once she entered their bedroom. "It was nice to go out, just the two of us, again."

"I made you cry at dinner..." he smiled, but she could tell he still felt bad about what had happened, "It can't have been that nice."

She shook her head, "Don't go there; let's just leave it at I had a wonderful time tonight."

He nodded and said nothing more on the subject, following her lead. He watched as she slipped out of her high heels and unpinned her hair, letting the messy raven curls fall about her shoulders and even those small things were enough to have his heart beating a little faster.

But despite knowing that they were married and had obviously had sex before, a part of him felt like it was wrong to think of her like that... So, he averted his eyes as she changed out of her cocktail dress and into her nightgown.

He kept his eyes away from her, breathing deeply, trying to calm his pounding heart. There was something familiar tugging at his heart, his stomach twisting in knots. There must have been a time where he was nervous and excited all at the same time when he was with her.

Emily noticed that Morgan had been really quiet. "Derek, are you okay?" she asked, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he attempted a reassuring smile, "Just tired." His eyes quickly darted to her before instantly looking away again. But even his brief glance was enough to notice that her nightgown was rather sheer and he couldn't resist taking another look.

His gaze roamed over her body, taking in the way the silky cloth clung to her curves, the swell of her hips, the slight baby bump, her perfect breasts. And she might as well not have been wearing anything because the nightgown was doing little to conceal her – not that it mattered, considering he was already mentally undressing her.

Following his gaze and catching the way he stared, the way his breathing seemed to speed up a little, she smirked – she knew him well enough to know when he was checking her out. She caught his eye, smiling and he instantly looked away again, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, turning away from her, looking like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Her smile softened upon seeing his embarrassment and she reassuringly ran a hand over his upper arm. "It's okay," she murmured, "We're married – you're allowed to look." She stood on her toes, leaning in to kiss him gently. "I know you're still not used to it, but it'll get better," she promised.

"I know. I'm trying," he whispered, pulling her into his arms, hugging her tightly.

As he held her, he thought about all that had happened since he returned home from the accident a month ago. His heart ached for her, knowing things had been the toughest on her with the baby on the way, Kylie's chicken pox, and his condition...she didn't deserve any of this, but she had always been patient and understanding.

He hugged her tighter, burying his face in her hair and breathing her in. As he held her, he realized how much he loved her...but he also realized that he hadn't exactly _proved_ to her that her loved her.

Sure, he had told her how he felt about her, but he felt like it just wasn't enough. After all, actions speak louder than words. He knew he had to stop hesitating, he had to stop worrying – at least for now.

Without another word, he scooped her into his arms, hooking an arm behind her knees, and took several long strides towards their bed. He gently placed her on the bed and before she could react, his lips came crashing down on hers.

She tensed up for a moment; this wasn't their first kiss since the accident, but this felt so much more intimate than their previous timid, shy kisses. She shut her eyes and tried to let go of all her anxiety, flashing back to past tender moments and wanting him more than ever. She clutched tightly at the front of his shirt, pulling him back with her until she lay on the bed with him hovering over her.

He pressed her harder against the bed, trapping her beneath him as his lips continued their assault on her. Her hands roamed over his chest, sliding under his shirt revelling in the warmth of his skin under her palms.

His hand was on her hip and she thought he was about to push her nightgown out of the way so he could touch her skin, but he hesitated and that worried her... She was hoping that tonight would finally be the night – it had been a long time and, truth be told, she missed the intimacy – but she knew she didn't want him to do anything until he was sure he wanted to.

She slowly pulled away, studying him carefully. "We don't have to do anything tonight," she reassured, "We can wait until you're ready."

"I'm just nervous," he said softly, a little ashamed to admit it, "I know this isn't our first time, but I don't remember that – all I know now is that, for me, this is our first time ever and I want to make this good for you..."

She smiled and leaned up to kiss him tenderly. "It's okay," she murmured, "There's nothing to be nervous about. We love each other – that's what makes it good. But we can wait; I just want you to know that I'm ready whenever you are."

"I know," he murmured, "And I _am _ready... It's just..."

"Shh," she cut him off, kissing him tenderly, "It's okay, we can take this slow..."

He gave her a soft smile. "I'd like that."

He gently, almost hesitantly, brought their lips together in a timid kiss. They slowly let their lips move over each other, letting him get used to the idea of taking their relationship to the next stage. He smiled into the kiss, secretly happy that they had made it through another hurdle together and, to him, this was what he was supposed to be doing...kissing his wife and making love to her, he never felt more at home than he did right now.

Putting his anxiety and worries aside, he let his instinct take the lead, gently kissing her face as if silently apologizing for all the pain he had caused her. "I love you," he murmured into her ear as his lips travelled along her jaw.

As he pushed her nightgown away, running his hands over her skin, stroking her hip, she wasn't exactly stationary herself. It had been a long time for them and she'd missed him. She struggled with the buttons on his shirt, eager to touch more of him.

He kissed her cheek gently. "Go slowly," he whispered, "I don't want to rush this."

She took a deep breath and shut her eyes before once again, with much more adept fingers, set to work on removing his shirt. "I'm sorry," she said, voice barely there, "It's just been far too long since we've..."

He chuckled softly. "I know, baby," he whispered against her lips, "I missed you too, but I want us to enjoy this."

She nodded, breathing deeply. His hands pushed her nightgown upwards, revealing more of her to him. He managed to remove the nightgown completely from her and tossed it aside, taking a moment to study her body, his fingers running over her, revealing in the warmth of her soft skin.

"Have I ever told you that you're beautiful?"

"You have," she replied quietly, "Though not recently..."

"Well, I should have – you're gorgeous. I don't need my memory to know that."

She pressed kisses to his chest. "I love you." She pushed the shirt off his shoulders, running her hands over his biceps, his toned chest, and his perfect abs, feeling the raw power beneath her palms. "Baby, I want you," she murmured.


	18. Chapter 18

Emily smiled softly to herself as she thought about the events of the previous night while preparing breakfast. They had spent the entire night wrapped up in each other's arms, making love twice before she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

The night was so perfect that when she woke up that morning, she wondered for moment if it was a dream...then the dull aches in her muscles and his strong arms around her body reminded her that it was real.

His arms around her waist snapped her out of her reverie. "Hey," he whispered, kissing her neck.

She grinned. "Good morning, baby," she leaned in to give him a quick kiss, "I'm surprised you're awake so early – I figured I'd tired you out last night..."

He laughed, "You most certainly did...but breakfast smelled so wonderful, I just couldn't stay in bed any longer. Besides, I would have missed breakfast with my three favorite girls."

"I love you," she murmured, turning in his arms and wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him properly. He threaded his fingers in her hair, keeping her close as he deepened the kiss, his tongue darting out to tangle with hers, causing her to moan softly.

The quiet shuffling of slippered feet across the kitchen floor and the dull thud of a cupboard door being opened and closed broke them from their passionate reverie. Both turned towards the source of the noise to find Fran pouring herself a cup of coffee.

Emily's cheeks flushed bright red upon realizing her mother-in-law had just interrupted them in the midst of a very heated kiss. "I'm...umm...just going to go wake up Kylie," she stammered.

Morgan, trying to pretend as if nothing had happened, greeted, "Morning, Mama. You're up early." She wasn't really, but it was all he could think of to say at the moment, still rather flustered.

"Good morning," she smiled knowingly, then called him out, "It's not that early, you know."

He was silent for a moment before eventually nodding, "I know."

"I take it that dinner went well."

He smiled and shrugged, "We managed to iron out some of our problems."

"I'm really happy for you," she smiled genuinely. "Emily's a great woman and I can tell she loves you very much. Another woman might have left you...you're very lucky to have her," she added.

"I know," he reached over and squeezed his mother's hand. "I won't let her go, so don't worry – your favourite daughter-in-law isn't going anywhere."

Morgan and Fran shared a tender mother and son moment before a certain four year old came rushing down the stairs, giggling happily when she saw her father. "Daddy!" she grinned, leaping into his arms. "I missed you..."

"I missed you too, princess," he said, hugging her tightly. "Were you good for Grandma last night?"

She nodded seriously. "I helped make dinner and then we played Candyland and then we watched _Beauty and the Beast_. And I tried to stay awake until you got home, but I was really tired and I fell asleep..."

He laughed and kissed her atop her messy curls. "Sounds like you had fun."

"Yeah...but I _really _missed you 'cause you didn't tuck me in or kiss me goodnight..."

She looked up at him with her 'cute but sad' look and he felt a little guilty. "I'm sorry, sweetheart; how about we spend all day together to make up for it? We can go to the park."

"Really?" her eyes immediately lit up, "We can go to the park? Can we have a picnic there? Will you push me on the swing? Can we get ice cream after that? I wanna feed the ducks too! And can we..."

"Slow down, sweetheart," Emily laughed, kissing her daughter's cheek. "Kylie, we have the entire day to do everything you want."

"Okay," she grinned, hugging her mother, then her father, "I really missed you."

"We missed you too, honey."

...

"Push me higher, Daddy!" Kylie squealed, as Morgan pushed her on the swing. Emily sat on a bench nearby, smiling contentedly as she watched the father and daughter interact.

"I never thought I'd live to see this sight," Fran whispered as she settled beside Emily. "I always thought Derek would be too invested in his career to do something about his love life. I owe this to you, you know," she added kindly.

Emily smiled softly in response. "You don't owe me anything. Besides, he was the one who made the first move," she shrugged.

"A family wasn't even on the horizon until he met you," Fran laughed lightly. "He never told you, but he said he never wanted to settle down...until you walked in. That's when everything changed for him. He said he liked that you challenged him, that you weren't afraid to push back."

Emily's smile widened, feeling her heart warm. She loved that no matter how long they were together, he could still get to her with even the smallest gesture or the simplest words – but then again, she'd always had a soft spot for him.

"I knew I'd like you the first time he told me about you," Fran continued, "That boy always needed someone who could kick his ass." Emily laughed, hearing the older woman say that; though, she had to admit she agreed.

They were interrupted by Kylie's playful shrieking as she sprinted across the grass towards them, chased by Morgan who was pretending as if the little girl was too fast for him. Emily stood up, ready for Kylie to fling herself into her arms so she could 'save' her from her father.

But the little girl didn't quite make it that far, stumbling and falling to the ground, bumping her head. She started to cry and instantly, all three adults were at her side.

Emily quickly scooped the little girl into her arms, brushing her hair aside to check on the bump. "It's okay, sweetie," she cooed soothingly, "Mommy's here. It's just a little bump, you'll be okay."

Kylie continued to sob in her mother's arms, shaking her head. She looked up at the three adults with teary eyes and sobbed even harder when she looked at Morgan. "What if I forget everything like Daddy did?" she asked, sniffling, "I don't want to forget you..."

The three adults looked at each other with confused and shocked looks. "Why would you say that?" Emily asked breathlessly, praying her daughter didn't mean what she thought she did.

"I bumped my head like Daddy, now I'm gonna forget everything like he did..." she whimpered, concealing her face in Emily's shirt.

Emily felt her heart sink, sharing a crestfallen look with Morgan. "Honey, you're going to be fine," Morgan promised, "You're not going to forget anything."

"Kylie, how do you about what happened to Daddy?" Emily asked, upset that her attempts to keep the girl from ever finding out what had happened had failed.

She sniffled, "I heard you telling Grandma what happened... He bumped his head and forgetted about you and me..."

"I'm so sorry, baby," Emily sighed, hugging her tightly. "Mommy and Daddy never wanted you to find out. We didn't want you to be sad."

Kylie looked up at her parents. "Don't cry, Mommy," she whispered, wiping the tears on Emily's cheeks. "I was kinda sad, but I know Daddy was sick. And I still love Daddy, no matter what happens."

"Come here," Morgan murmured, taking the girl from Emily into his arms, "Daddy's sorry. I didn't mean to forget you. But Daddy still loves you very much, I'll never forget that, so you can't forget it either, okay?"

"I promise," she said solemnly, holding up her finger for a pinky promise. She wrapped her tiny arms around Morgan's neck, giving him the biggest hug she could manage and whispered, "I'll always remember you, Daddy, even if you forgetted me."


	19. Chapter 19

He was at work – not yet cleared for duty, but trying to slog through some of the paperwork that had accumulated during his absence – when he got the call.

"_Honey_," Emily said, sounding as if she were struggling to keep her voice from wavering, "_Are you busy_?"

He picked up on something off in her voice. "Em, what's wrong?" he asked, trying to keep calm.

"_Can you come to the hospital_?"

He was halfway across the bullpen before he'd really had time to process what she'd said. "What's wrong? Are you alright?" he asked worriedly. He was trying not to panic, but it wasn't exactly working.

"_I started having contractions_..." she said, sounding as if she were gritting her teeth. "_It's probably nothing_," she tried to reassure, "_But I didn't want to take a chance_."

"I'll be there as soon as I can," he promised, "Just stay strong – you'll be alright." He prayed that would turn out to be true, their family didn't need anything else to go wrong...

...

"How can I help you?" an older nurse asked, looking over her reading glasses as Morgan sprinted up to the reception counter, out of breath.

He took a deep breath, calming himself down before replying the older woman. "My wife, Emily Prentiss-Morgan, she's pregnant and she's having contractions. Which room is she in?"

"Daddy!" Kylie ran over to her father, into his arms.

"Where's Mommy?"

"She's in the room," she replied quickly, "With the doctor..."

"Room five-fourteen," the nurse replied helpfully.

He nodded his thanks and quickly made his way to the room with Kylie in his arms. "Daddy, is the baby hurting Mommy?" she whispered.

He sighed when he saw the brief flash of fear in her eyes. Things had happened so quickly and unexpectedly that no one had the time to explain to the little girl what was going on – it was no wonder that she didn't understand. "The baby's just letting Mommy know if it's ready to come out and meet us yet. Mommy will be okay, princess." The little girl nodded, though he doubted she really understood.

His breath hitched a little as he entered Emily's room, worried about what sight awaited him on the other side of the door. "How are you feeling?" he murmured, rushing to her side, "How's the baby?" He kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there with you when it happened..."

She'd spent so much time worrying about him of late, it almost felt strange to be worrying about her.

"It's okay," she said softly, "Kylie's been taking great care of me. I'm just glad you're here now."

He smiled faintly, gently brushing her hair away from her face. Quieter this time, almost fearfully, he asked, "Is the baby okay?"

"The doctors think it's just Braxton-Hicks, but they want to do an ultrasound to be sure it wasn't caused by fetal distress..." she reassured.

Morgan smiled slightly; on the drive to the hospital, he'd come up with all sorts of things that could have happened to her, and none of them were positive. "I was so worried," he whispered, gently pulling her into a hug. "I'm glad you're both okay."

Kylie snuggled closer to her mother on the bed, grinning when Emily wrapped an arm around her. Morgan smiled and pressed a kiss on the little girl's forehead. "Mommy tells me you've been taking care of her. Is that right?"

She nodded seriously. "I helped Grandma bring Mommy to the doctor. I even gave Mommy a big hug to make her feel better."

"You're such a good girl," he praised. "How about Daddy gets you ice cream after we leave here? Any flavour you want," he promised.

"Really? Because I was a good girl and helped Mommy?"

"Yes. You've earned it."

The little girl grinned brightly and hugged her father. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, sweetheart," he smiled, then looked around, searching for his mother, who had thankfully been with Emily when it happened. "Where's Grandma?"

"Probably hunting down a doctor to drag back here to make sure I'm still alright," Emily said wryly, "You know how worried she gets..."

Sure enough, Fran returned shortly after with a doctor in tow. "How are you feeling, Mrs. Morgan?" the doctor asked.

"Much better," Emily assured, "The contractions have mostly stopped."

The doctor nodded. "I'm sure it was nothing, but you were right to come in, it's best to be sure." She pulled over the ultrasound machine. "Are you ready to see your baby?"

Emily nodded, still a little anxious and not trusting herself to speak. Clear, cold gel was smeared over her baby bump and suddenly, the machine came to life and for the first time, they could see the new life growing inside her.

"Is that the baby?" Kylie asked after a moment, her eyes transfixed on the ultrasound machine's screen.

"Yes, that's the baby." She then turned to Morgan and Emily, smiling assuringly, "The baby's okay." She moved the wand over her stomach to get a clearer picture. "It's just Braxton-Hicks," she confirmed. "Nothing to worry about, it's happens to a lot of pregnant women."

"Thank you," Morgan glanced at the doctor for a moment before returning his gaze to the machine. His couldn't tear his eyes away from the image of his child – it was so tiny, so beautiful, and he already loved it so much.

He felt himself get a little choked up – not that he would admit it – as the baby moved and began sucking its thumb. He was pulled from his reverie by the sound of Emily sniffling and he managed to pull his gaze away from the screen to see her wiping away tears. "Don't cry," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand which he still clung tightly to.

"I'm fine," she reassured, "It's just..." She trailed off, shaking her head. He nodded, understanding completely. Taking a deep breath and sniffling again, she reminded, "We still need a name..."

The doctor smiled, leaving the room to give them a little privacy. "Yeah," he smiled, then he looked towards Kylie. "I think there's someone who can help."

"Kylie, would you like to help us pick out names for the baby?"

"I get to help?" her eyes lit up and she grinned from ear to ear. "But we don't know if the baby's a girl or boy."

"How about we pick some girls names and some boys names and we'll choose when the baby's born," he suggested. The little girl's face contorted into a look of deep thought.

Emily leaned in to kiss him, still a little overwhelmed with emotion. "If it's a boy, we should call him Kilgore Trout," she whispered jokingly.

He smiled, then repeated the name under his breath as if testing it out. He furrowed his brow in concentration. "Kilgore Trout," he repeated again.

Emily shot him a questioning look. "You do know I was only joking, right?" He didn't reply for several long moments. And she began to get concerned. "Derek?"

"I remember..." he whispered at length.

She hardly dared to believe it – she'd hoped so many times, only to have her heart break just a little, she was almost afraid of what the answer would be this time. "You do?" she breathed.

He nodded, a smile slowly spreading across his lips. "Kilgore Trout – that was the day I knew I had to make you my wife...which I did on a beautiful spring day, surrounded by family and friends and I knew I was the luckiest man on the planet."

"What else do you remember?" Fran asked quietly, not wanting to get her hopes up, though she already knew it was too late.

"I remember I brought Emily home to see you at Thanksgiving and I was outnumbered when you ganged up on me at Monopoly," he smiled as he recalled that day. "I picked Kylie's middle name because I wanted her to be just like you. I proposed to you in our house, that was my gift to you."

"You _do _remember..." Emily whispered, tears glittering in her eyes.

"I remember everything, Em." He hugged her tightly, feeling like he could finally make it up to his family, especially Emily who had been though so much because of him...


	20. Chapter 20

Morgan wrapped an arm around Emily, pressing a reassuring kiss on her forehead as they sat in the quiet room, anxiously waiting as his neurologist examined his latest – and hopefully last – brain scan. Kylie was on his lap, quietly reading her book, completely clueless about what was going on, which Emily was thankful for.

Sitting in this quiet room would be completely unnerving if not for their baby girl's quiet cooing while she slept peacefully in her mother's arms. He smiled contentedly as the baby stirred in her sleep. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, then kissed the top of Kylie's head.

The little girl looked up from her book and gave her father her sweetest smile. "Can we go to the park soon, Daddy?"

The neurologist returned to the room, the images from Morgan's brain scans in his hand, smiling at the family. "Soon," Morgan told Kylie gently, "Once we finish talking to the doctor, we can go to the park. Can you go back to your book for a little while until we're done?"

Kylie nodded and leaned in to hug her father, a silent prayer that he'd be okay. Then, she affixed the doctor with her most serious, grown up look and asked, "My Daddy's all better and won't be sick anymore and won't forget anything else, right?"

Emily gently brushed Kylie's hair behind her ears. "Let Mommy and Daddy talk to the doctor, okay, sweetie," she said gently. They'd told the girl that Morgan was better, but when they'd told her that he had to see the doctor again, she'd been worried, not fully understanding what they meant when they said it was just a precaution.

The neurologist smiled as the girl settled down and began slowly, "After reviewing your file and looking through the progression of MRI images, I feel confident concluding that you have made a full recovery. The swelling has gone down, the damage has repaired itself, and it appears that full normal electrochemical activity has returned. We asked for this scan because we were worried that the memory might be intermittent, but from the looks of it, you have nothing to be worried about."

Morgan and Emily shared a look and smiled. He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his chest and he could finally breathe easy. "Thank you," he whispered, "This is wonderful news – it means a lot to me."

"I know," the doctor smiled understandingly, looking at the relieved family. "After all you've been through, I'm glad I could finally give you some good news. How have things been for you the last few months?" he asked, "It can sometimes be an adjustment returning to your life upon regaining your memory."

Morgan smiled, "Things have been great; I've always appreciated my family, but now I treasure them more than ever."

The doctor nodded, "I know you appreciate every second you have with your family. You're a very lucky man, you have a wonderful family."

"I know," he smiled, running a hand over Emily's back, "They're perfect. I've always known that."

The doctor smiled and looked at the little girl. "Kylie," he said gently, "I promise you, your Daddy's all fine now. He won't be sick or forget anything."

"Really?" her eyes lit up and the brightest smile appeared on her little face, "You pinky promise?"

He chuckled lightly, "Yes, I pinky promise."

The little girl climbed off Morgan's lap and ran over to the doctor's side of the desk, climbing onto his lap and giving him the biggest hug she could manage. "Thank you. You're a good doctor."

He laughed. "Well, thank you Kylie, I'm glad you think so." He returned the girl to Morgan, then shook both adults' hands. "I hope we never have to meet again."

"So, do I," Morgan said, smiling, "Thank you, you've given me my life back."

Outside the office, Morgan pulled Emily into a gentle hug, careful not to squish the baby between them. "I love you," she murmured against his lips, "I'm so glad you're alright."

As they pulled apart, Kylie extended her arms towards her father. "My turn, Daddy!"

Hugging the little girl, he asked, "So, how should we celebrate?" As Kylie offered her suggestion, the baby gurgled and began squirming in Emily's arms, preparing to cry.

"Trade you," Emily offered, "I think someone else wants to tell her Daddy how happy she is that he's alright."

He smiled, taking the baby from Emily and kissing her cheek. "It's okay, sweetheart," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "Daddy's okay now. You're not getting rid of me so easily," he joked.

The baby seemed to understand and a faint smile ghosted her tiny features. He looked up and caught the smiles on the faces of his other favourite girls and he knew he never wanted to forget that again.

...

"What do you think, little one?" he asked the infant, "Winnie the Pooh or Princesses?" He held up the two onesies as she lay on the changing table, letting her choose.

She kicked a tiny foot towards the pink one and he smiled widely. "Good choice – Daddy picked out that one for you. You're my little princess, aren't you?" She gurgled happily, as if in agreement, as he gently dressed her.

Picking her up and inspecting his handiwork, he grinned. "What do you think? Are we ready for bed?" She began squirming and giggling. "Not so much, huh? Well, Daddy knows just the thing for little girls who aren't tired..."

He swaddled her in the pale pink blanket his mother had made for her newest granddaughter and, cradling the infant close to his body, settled into the handmade rocking chair before the window.

Emily stood at the threshold of the nursery, smiling tenderly as she watched her husband rocking their baby girl to sleep, softly singing to her. "She's still not sleepy?" she asked gently as she walked into the room.

"Not yet," he smiled.

When Kylie had been born, he'd worried about a lot of things, but he'd read that putting a baby to sleep helps develop trust between the parent and child and more than anything, he found himself worrying that he wouldn't be able to put his own baby to sleep. So, he'd read up on every method he could find of lulling an infant to sleep, from warm baths to driving and he'd learned every lullaby and memorized children's stories.

But Kylie had been a rather high-need baby and he'd quickly learned the one thing that never failed to put her to sleep. Nestling her head against his neck, he would slowly rock her and sing and she'd doze off in no time. In fact, he sometimes found himself wishing she wouldn't fall asleep so quickly because he loved holding her, the feel of her breath against his skin, her tiny heart beating so close to his.

"I can't believe I forgot how much I loved doing this..." He looked down at the new life in his arms and smiled, as it brought him back to a time where Kylie was as little as this baby and when he used to cradle her, rocking her to sleep. "I loved holding Kylie, watching her sleep...it was almost like time just stopped and everything stood still and with Anna, it's the same."

"You remember everything now," she whispered, leaning in to kiss him. "That's all that matters."

He nodded, smiling softly as he felt his daughter's body go slack in his arms, signifying that she'd nodded off. "You know, I was so worried I wouldn't remember how to do any of this and I'd be a bad father..."

"You could never be a bad father because you love our daughters so much," she insisted gently.

"I know..." He eased the sleeping child away from his chest and set her down in her bassinet. "I just... I didn't need to remember to love you or the girls, but I felt like if I could put my child to sleep, to stop her crying, if I could remember how to do those things, I'd know I had really recovered." He pulled the covers up over the infant and pressed a light kiss to her forehead.

Emily wrapped her arms around him as they both watched their daughter sleeping. "Well, I'd say this little one certainly thinks you're a great Daddy," she murmured, "Even I can't get her to sleep so quickly..."

His tender smile changed into a cheeky grin, "What can I say? Derek Morgan has his ways to get the ladies to bed quickly..."

Emily resisted urge to roll her eyes, "Some things never change. You'd better hope your daughters don't meet someone like you..."

"Oh, I'll make sure no one comes near them," he said seriously.

She laughed, "I'd like to see that happen."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying, they'll grow up and meet boys, they'll fall in love... One day, you won't be the most important man in their life," she shrugged.

He shook his head, gazing down at his baby girl, "I'd rather not think about that now. They're still so little...they'll be Daddy's little girls for a long time."

"You say that now...but years from now you'll be walking them down the aisle and it will feel like you've blinked and missed everything..."

"Don't say that," he said, feeling his heart clench, knowing that she was right, "I'm going to remember every single moment I have with my girls."

* * *

_This is the end of I'm Already There. We had so much fun writing this story and we're really happy that you guys enjoyed yourself too. We love this story and we think it's awesome but you guys made us feel even better about this story with all your reviews and kind words. We don't know what to say but, thank you. This has been an amazing journey for us and we're gald that you joined us for the ride._

_Once again, enjoy the last chapter and let us know what you think of it. _

_Thanks a lot!  
ArwenLalaith and Confetti Leaves_


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